A huge current of reliefand ecstasy surges around my body. ‘Oh, Nigel, I’ve been thinking about you too …’
‘But I’m worried about you, Em,’ he says, reaching for my hand. ‘I heard you jacked in the job and are studying drama and living in a rented room. Don’t you think you’re a little too old to be changing courses? You’ve got to think of the future.’
‘You only get one life and when you left …’
‘But that’snot my main reason for wanting to see you,’ he interjects.
Stay calm. Play hard to get. Deep breaths …
‘I’ve something important to tell you …’
‘Yes?’ I whisper, heart doing the quickstep.
‘I thought it best to do the decent thing and tell you face to face before you hear it from someone else.’
My stomach does a backward flip. I feel the colour drain from my face. I twist thecorner of the tablecloth tightly between my fingers, knees wobbling like crème caramel.
‘First of all, despite what you might have heard, I want you to know that I didn’t sleep with Maddie until we broke up.’
‘What? Who’s Maddie?’ I say, sharply pulling my hand away from his.
‘She’s new … you … you don’t know her. She … she only joined at the end of last year. Anyway, nothing happeneduntil …’
‘Whooooa! So all that stuff about self-destruct buttons and “finding yourself” was a cover-up?’
‘Not exactly … no. Let me finish, please. You don’t know how hard this is for me …’
‘You had me believing that you were having some sort of mental breakdown, when all the time you were sleeping with some young bimbo. How could you?’ I snap, throwing down my napkin, unsure of whetherto fling myself on the floor or fly out of the door.
‘Keep your voice down, Em,please,’ he says through clenched teeth, nervously looking around at the other diners.
I stare at him in disbelief.
‘Typical! That’s all you care about: what people think of you. You are so damned self-centred! You invited me for dinner to relieve your guilt. Worried about me? Hah! Don’t bother. I’ll befine,’ I say, snatching my jacket, helmet, and bag.
Grabbing my wrist, he mumbles, ‘I still care about you, Em. You’re like family to me … I can only move on with my life if I know you’re going to be okay. Maybe in time, we could even be …’
‘Oh, pur-lease, don’t say it! Let go of me! What an idiot I was to eventhinkof getting back with you.’
I stagger out of the restaurant into thestreet, finding it hard to breathe. I unchain my bike from the lamppost, hands trembling.
‘Don’t be like this,’ comes a voice in my ear. ‘At least let me give you a lift home, Em, please.’
‘Not necessary,’ I hiss, jamming on my helmet and flicking on my lights.
‘There’s just one more thing you should know,’ he blurts out, face ghostly in the silvery beam of the streetlight. ‘Maddie’spregnant.’
