“Had to have been,” he admits, his lips thinning.
My leg is throbbing again, but I refuse to give in. This discussion is too important. “I can’t marry you, Tse. We’d have to prove we were living together as husband and wife. I’m not sure…”
“Won’t be any hardship on my part, Mariana.” His eyes flare with desire.
He’s so masculine he frightens me. He’s talking about something he’s probably done many times before. An act I hadn’t allowed myself to think about, not when I couldn’t let anyone in. The things I saw in that dungeon, men rutting with unwilling women, are my only experience of sex. Tse is overbearing. If we could date, take things slow… But jumping into marriage? Would he expect me to leap into his bed? My mouth twists. Not that I’m capable of leaping anywhere at the moment.
Not for the first time, he seems to read my mind. “Mariana, what we do, when we do it, is all up to you. I told you in Colombia, I’d never hurt you, or force you, or expect more than you want to give. If we have to pretend in other ways, we will. I want you with me, living beside me. I want to keep you safe.” He indicates to where my bandaged thigh is under the sheet. “You need time to heal before we even think of doing anythingphysical. You need time to get your mobility back. Let me help you.”
“I want to go back to the trailer…”
It’s then he tells me it’s trashed. He explains that while my father’s on the loose, it would be dangerous for me to be on my own. That because they blew up the compound, my father is ruined, and it’s likely he blames me. That shot didn’t kill me. The next one might. He gives me a lot to think about, so much that at last I use the morphine pump, just to get the thoughts swirling around my brain to stop.
Next time I awake, Drew’s come to visit. It’s unfair, but my brother’s relationship with Tse surprises me, and makes me a little jealous. When he comes through the door they exchange fist bumps and back slaps before Tse tactfully leaves us alone. It’s easy to see Drew looks up to him, admires him, treats him as a cross between an older brother and a father, neither of which he’s ever known. Tse seems to fill a gap in his life that I never even knew he had.
Drew’s easy acceptance of him, and his eagerness for a legal union between Tse and myself, starts me thinking differently. When Drew’s eyes fill with tears at the thought of me being deported again, I realise I need to do everything I can to prevent that. If that means tying myself to a man I don’t really know, perhaps I should?
I spend eight days in that hospital. I’d expected to leave on my own two legs, instead the damage to my nerves means I’ll need to use a combination of crutches and a wheelchair. I was only cleared for release when I demonstrated I could use crutches on stairs.Bad leg down first, good leg up. Down to hell and up to heaven, the nurse said to remind me.
The doctor wanted to send me to rehab. Being here was exposure enough. At times I feel so angry, I’d worked so hard to keep my DACA status, my father took away my chance tobecome a permanent resident by arranging for me to be deported before I had my day in court. Now I’m truly illegal, I can’t take chances.
It took a meeting between the doctor and Peg, the burly sergeant-at-arms for the club, to persuade him that the compound was equipped and Peg experienced enough to provide the physical therapy I was going to need. I heard talk of flexion of foot, passive knee extensions and straight leg raises, which luckily seemed to mean something to Peg.
Peg’s visit and intervention with the doctor resonated with me. When Tse said his brothers would be looking out for me, he meant it. Before leaving, Peg had come over to me, his tall frame seeming to tower over the bed. “You’ll be safe with us,” he promised.
Safe. I don’t know, and if Tse does he isn’t telling me, how much of a threat my father still is. He’s alive, and on the loose. Would he really be able to send men after me again? Or has his empire been decimated? And if he comes for me, what about Drew? It’s him he’s really after.
The night before I leave the hospital, I speak once again to the man who’s barely left my side.
“Tse. Marrying you doesn’t guarantee anything,” I start. “But if that’s what you want, I will.” I wave him down as he starts to speak. “On one condition. I don’t think I, I…”
“You don’t want to consummate our relationship? Just pretend that we have,” he finishes for me. He gazes at me earnestly. “What I can promise is I’ll never force you. Trust me on that?”
While I’ve been in the hospital, I’ve gradually got more details of just how much time and effort Tse put in to finding and rescuing me, and have come to understand how he and his brothers had put their lives on the line just to get me away frommy father. How could I not trust the man who could have died saving me? Who’s taken care of a boy who was nothing to him?
“I trust you.”
The next morning I go with Tse, back to his compound. When I get out of the truck, or rather, when Tse lifts me out, I find a wheelchair ready and waiting for me. A grinning Blade standing behind it.
Wishing I could explore by myself on two legs, I let Tse push me around, introducing me to my new surroundings, and to the women and remainder of the brothers who I haven’t yet met.
The compound is nothing like I expected. I thought bikers would live somewhere dull and dingy, not in an ex-vacation resort. There’s even a swimming pool as well as a gym. As I spy the equipment, I realise why Peg was so adamant he could help me.
The living accommodation is spacious. Drew and Tse have suites side by side. I know I disappointed him when I adamantly stated I’d be sharing with my brother, and not sleeping in his. Although it means I’ll be in close proximity with my brother, I’m not unhappy with the arrangement. Having half a king size bed is better than sleeping on the couch, which I did for years in that trailer. It’s not as if Drew and I haven’t shared before, when my mom was with us, she’d sleep on the couch, Drew and I taking the small and only bedroom.
I’m surprised to find the compound full of women and children, there’s a five-year-old girl called Amy, Marcia’s twins Jacob and Isabel, Darcy’s boy Noah, Sophie’s girl Olivia, Sam’s handful of a toddler Eli, and Maya, who belongs to Joker and Lady. Sophie, Sam, and Slick’s wife Ella are all pregnant. It’s got a happy family vibe, and the women welcome me with open arms.
Drew seems particularly friendly with a girl here, Jayden, who’s only a year older than him. He sighs when he tells me sheand one of the members will be leaving the compound soon. He seems disappointed, and I guess he may have a crush on the girl.
Tse hovers around as I meet each new face, intuitively knowing I’ll be feeling overwhelmed by all the attention. I try to learn everyone’s name, and which woman is with which man. But everyone is so kind and friendly, it’s not long before I start wondering why I was ever worried about coming here.
“Hey! It’s Wheels all over again.”
“Viper,” Tse growls.
A heavily pregnant Sophie comes over and slaps Viper’s arm. “Hey, that’s my handle.” Looking down at me, she explains, pointing at the wheelchair. “That was mine when I first came here. Peg got me back up on my feet, well, foot.” She laughs. “You’re in good hands with Peg.” Then she glares at Viper, before stepping away.
“What?” Viper raises his hands.
