Dagger dips me back again, and then spins me across the floor.
19
Skully
Her laugh trickles through the room, and I turn my head, seeing my girl dancing with Dagger. The jealousy instantly takes hold. A wildfire of pain blazing right through. She’s smiling so wide. Her eyes so full of happiness.
He dips her back and she smiles even brighter, looking up at him like he’s a fucking king. Her cheeks turning pink from whatever he’s saying to her. And I can only fucking imagine what’s coming from his smooth-talking lips when she’s looking as tasty as she does. All dolled up. Every curve hugged by that tight dress she’s got on. Her tits pushed up, about to spill over her neckline.
When he brings her back up, he lifts her from the ground and spins her around, showing off how fucking strong he is. I can’t fucking watch this shit anymore. I turn my chair and roll my ass over to the bar to get myself a drink. All night she’s been offdancing and having a good time. And until this moment, I hadn’t noted the fact that she’s been ignoring me. She’s barely spent two minutes with me.
I’d been distracted by the guys. Each one coming over and asking if I’ll give them a tattoo like the one I gave Ripper. Each one talking my ear off like they haven’t seen me for over a year. Which some of them haven’t. But now that I’m not distracted, I realize the only one who hasn’t wanted my attention is Madison. Why would she when she’s getting it from my brothers?
“Hand me a cold one, Cage.”
He gives me a look like he doesn’t want to serve me. I don’t need the fucking judgement in his eyes. Everyone else has a drink in their hand. After all, it’s a fucking celebration, isn’t it? Razor and his girl are getting married tomorrow. He’s going towalkdown that aisle with the woman of his dreams and then climb onto his bike and ride off into the sunset. Love is fucking in the air.
For everyone else it sure fucking is. Meanwhile, the girl I’m in love with is off twirling around and flirting with the real men in the room. Leaving her crippled boyfriend to sit in the corner because it’s not like he can dance with her.
He hands me a beer and I chug down nearly half the bottle, knowing beer ain’t gonna do shit to numb the pain. I need the hard stuff for that, but Cage will judge me further.
“Thought you’d given up drinking?” says the girl who all of a sudden finally gives a shit about what I’m doing.
“Ain’t none of your business, is it?” I bring the bottle to my mouth, watching her eyes fill with disappointment as I chug down the rest of its contents. I finish it off with a satisfied sigh. “You want to get me another?” I can hear the ice in my voice and see it casting a chill over her face. Her tiny frame is tensing and her eyes are turning darker. That happiness chilled right over.
“What’s going on, Skully?” She moves in closer and now there’s concern in her eyes. The only thing I’m looking for is love from the girl, but that’s not the look she gives me. Lust, desire—see that every night. But I want the look she gave me back when we first got together. I want her looking at me like I’m a fucking king. Giving me the look she was just giving Dagger. But I’m never going to have that, am I?
“Nothin’. You should get on back out there.” I tip my head to the dance floor. “Go find Dagger again.”
Her lips turn down and those aqua eyes are scrutinizing me, trying to get inside my head. She doesn’t need to think too hard to figure it out. No man wants to see his woman dancing and making eyes with another man.
“Are you jealous, Skully? Is that why you’re acting like this?”
“Jealous?” I let out a harsh laugh, forcing the wind out of my lungs. “Nah, doll. I ain’t jealous. You should go on and have fun with anyone you want to. It’s a free fucking country.”
She shifts in her heels, moving in closer, her hands reaching for the armrests of my chair as she bends down. “I promise you, Skully…” Her voice has dropped into a soft purr, a whisper of seduction. “You are the only man I want to havefunwith.” She runs her fingers over my crotch, but I grip her hand and stop her.
“Don’t want you touching me anymore.”
She jerks back at my near shout, and now her eyes are filled with rejection. Sadness is creeping around the edges. And the darkness that had been gone for weeks is slowly invading, trying to swallow my every thought.
“Please come to the room with me, Skully. Please don’t push me away.”
I ain’t pushing her away. She was never mine to begin with. I’ve been fooling myself this entire time. Thinking that because she was sleeping with me at night, fucking me whenever she got a taste for sex, she was mine. But she hasn’t told me she lovesme. And I’m starting to think it’s because she doesn’t. But I can’t blame her for that one. It takes a hell of a lot more than a big dick to make someone happy.
“You don’t take a hint, do you?” I grit the words, feeling the hate building within. The hate towards the injustice. Hate for what I’ve become. “Told you to stay the fuck away from me.” That way she won’t get hurt.
Her hand goes up, pressing against the left side of her chest, shaking her head, and there’s a new look in her eyes. One filled with so much pain it slices me wide open. She turns and runs out the door and I can barely breathe.
“Looks like you could use this, brother.” Razor steps up, holding out a beer for me. I snatch it from him and chug it back. Again, it does nothing to numb the pain.
“You want to tell me why you’re givin’ that girl hell?”
Because I’m a fucking bastard. That’s why.
“Don’t want a pity fuck.”
“You gotta quit thinkin’ that all people see is that damn chair. Maddy still sees the man you are inside, brother. That girl is still in love with you.”
