“I don’t mind staying longer. There’s nothing going on tonight.”
“It’s up to you, girl. But would you mind taking this down to Skully real quick?” He’s holding a brown box. It’s finally the excuse I’ve been looking for to go down and see him.
“Sure thing!”
I take the package from him and head down to Skully’s room. The closer I get to his door, the more nervous I feel. Maybe I should’ve stopped by the bar first for some liquid courage. My hand pauses in the air, and I count to five before knocking.
“What do you want?”
The harsh snap of his voice from within has me stepping back. I look down the hall toward the great room for my escape, but it’s too late. I can’t chicken out now.
“Skully, it’s Maddy. I have a package for you.”
There’s a long silence. Seconds pass slowly, and my nerves ratchet tighter and tighter. Maybe I should just leave the box by his door and go.
“Door is open,” he finally says, and another shudder of nerves rushes through.
I have to wipe my palm on my skirt before I reach for the handle. God, I don’t think I’ve ever been this nervous before. My lungs don’t want to work and counting to five is doing nothing to calm my breathing. I open it slowly. He’s sitting over at his art table, staring intently at whatever he’s drawing. He doesn’t even look up as I enter, and that little smidge of hope I had is fading fast.
“Sorry,” I practically stutter. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you. Ripper asked me to bring you this box.”
I don’t know where to put it. On his nightstand, on his dresser—but that feels too high, or over at his table. The decision weighs heavily, the box practically shaking in my hands, until he snaps at me to bring it to him.
“You gonna stand there all day, or bring me my package?”
My feet quickly carry me forward, and I almost drop it on the table as if the thing is burning my hands. I’m ready to tuck tail and run. The nerve to stay and talk to him is completely gone. But before I get to the door, his deep voice stops me, and my sweaty hand sticks to the metal knob.
“Why are you here, Madison?”
I steel my breath before I turn, swallowing the nervous energy so I can form an answer. But my voice is so weak.
“I needed a job, and Ripper offered.” And maybe I hoped I’d be the cure for the man before me. But by the way he’s looking at me, it doesn’t look like I’m the spoon full of sugar he needs. I’m catching a chill again from his angry stare and I wish I had a sweater of confidence to shield me.
“You couldn’t find something somewhere else?”
I was under the impression Skully was okay with me being here, but it doesn’t sound like that’s the case. There’s so much contempt in his tone.
“My grades weren’t that great this last year. I’d sent my resume to a bunch of companies, but nothing panned out. When Ripper offered me the job, I was shocked. I wasn’t expecting it at all. But I told him I wouldn’t take it if you didn’t want me being here. If you’ve changed your mind about me staying, I’ll go, Skull. I don’t want you to hate me.”
His head cocks to the side and there’s a flicker in his eyes, a tiny bit of life. The pulse at the side of his jaw is ticking so fast I can’t keep count. My heart is racing faster the longer he holds me hostage in the silence. Am I supposed to say something else? Should I assume his answer and leave for good?
“How come your grades were shit? You get too caught up with too many boys?”
Caught up with boys? How could he even ask me that? I haven’t thought about another guy since him. Dating may be off the table indefinitely unless I can figure out how to stop loving the man who seems like he can’t even stand the sight of me. No, the only boy I was distracted with this last year was him. I was so depressed, most days I couldn’t get myself out of bed to make it to my classes. And when I did go, all I could think about was my pain and whether he was okay.
“There hasn’t been anyone since you, Skully. It was a little hard concentrating on my schoolwork when all I could think about was you.” There’s another flicker in his eyes, but the warmth quickly dissipates right back to anger. “I wanted to call you so many times. I wanted to know that you were okay. But…I didn’t think you wanted me to.” So, I never picked up the phone.
“You were right. I didn’t want you to call me. I don’t need anyone’s pity. And as you can fucking see, I’m doing just fine.”
He gestures to himself, but I can’t tell if that’s a joke or not. He doesn’t look fine. Appearance wise, he’s still as handsome as ever, easily the most gorgeous guy, but his eyes no longer hold any warmth. They’re cold and angry. And I already know from what Ripper told me that he’s not doing well. The anger is obviously a façade. A defense mechanism to help shield himself. But from what? Judgement? He has to know I would never think less of him for being in that wheelchair. My love for him hasn’t changed.
“I missed you, Skully.” The words slip out, but it’s almost like I can’t hold them back. I’ve always believed love and kindness could trump anger and hatred, so I want him to know what’s in my heart. But when his lips turn into a scowl, I think I’ve missed my mark and angered him further.
“Don’t you have a job to do?”
I’m so tempted to tell him I’m done with work for the day, but it’s obvious I’m not welcome. I don’t want to upset him. My goal is to help bring him back to life and get him well again, so pissing him off isn’t going to work in my favor.
“I’m done for the day. But I’ll leave you to it.” I go to leave, but stop in the doorway, needing to say one last thing. “Thanks for letting me stay, Skull. I really need this job.”
