I withdrew from him and focused on reassuring him before moving on. “Zio, look at me.”
“Nope, I’m too humiliated, and it hasn’t happened yet. Going to the doctor already makes me an anxious wreck. This adds a whole new layer of panic about my next visit.”
“If you won’t look at me, then listen. There’s a big difference between me pleasuring you and a doctor’s clinical examination.”
He slung his arm over his eyes to hide again. “Yeah, but my body will expect your touch and react to the memories of all the times you’ve made me feel good there. I could never see him again if I got aroused during an exam. Or worse, actually came.”
“Mon petit chou, do you think your anxiety would allow you to achieve a state of arousal intense enough to climax?”
It took a moment before he mumbled an answer. “Probably not.”
“Is your Dr. Felderman so attractive that he gives you confusing thoughts?”
His disgusted noise told me how grossed out he was by the idea. “No, he’s an old curmudgeon who’s always in a foul mood. He doesn’t want to be there any more than I do. That’s why I like him. He never tries to put me at ease with chitchat or ask more questions than is medically required by the standard of care. He’s grumpy as hell and wants me out of his office as fast as he can process me.”
“It doesn’t sound as if he would be there long enough for you to become aroused, then,non? Let alone be so appealing that your body would react to him.”
“But what if because he’s the antithesis of you, I think about you? Or remember Dr. Feel Good-Bonbon and giggle when he does my prostate check?” He made a pained noise. “I couldn’t be his patient anymore if I did that. He has zero sense of humor or patience.”
I arched an eyebrow at the description. “Finding a new doctor doesn’t seem like such a bad thing if that’s how he treats you.”
“No, he’s good at what he does. His bedside manner is atrocious, but I’m fine with that.” Zio let his arm drop onto the bed as he sighed. “Logically, I understand you’re right. But the asshole who lives in the back of my head is telling me all kinds of awful shit about how I’d be betraying you. I’m trying very hard not to believe him.”
It warmed my heart that he wanted to trust in me and not his doubts. “Let me beat him at his own game, then. Let’s say that the worst-case scenario happens, and you climax from Dr. Felderman’s touch. What would my reaction be?”
He started to answer but stopped with a consternated expression.
It was time to play devil’s advocate. “Do you think I would get angry with you? Are you afraid it would hurt my feelings? Do you believe I’d break up with you over such a thing?” My questions caused him to tense up, so I talked him down. “Or, would I be understanding about the incident and do everything possible to reassure you it was okay? Can you imagine me turning it into an opportunity to erase his touch with my own? Do you think I can’t make you come so hard that you forget to be anxious about the experience?”
“You wouldn’t be mad at me?” he asked in a tiny voice.
I reached out with my clean hand to stroke his thigh in comfort since it was closest to me. “The only thing that would upset me is if you didn’t go to a doctor. Your health is too important to avoid medical professionals out of a fear that your body might react to them because you’re so attuned to my touch. Even if you did, I would take it as a compliment about my skills.”
That finally drew a laugh from him. “I was unaware that one of your talents was finding a positive way to spin another person making me climax into being about you.”
“I’m happy to accept the blame for being so arousing that your body loses control at the mere thought of my touch.” I reached down to circle his hole once more. “But if it will lessen your anxiety, I won’t tease you about role-playing doctor scenarios.”
He melted at my promise, so I slid my finger back into him. “If I can ever get out of my head long enough to do that, please stick only to fantasies that can’t happen in everyday life. I’d have a nervous breakdown over a sexy teacher-student thing between us when I want to be a professor. I’d shoot myself out of a canon into the sun if I got aroused in front of a class while teaching because of you.”
It was a pity that was off the table, because I would have enjoyed acting that situation out. “In that case, I will stick to the realm of the fantastical.”
“What does that mean?”
I tried to come up with the most absurd idea possible to help him laugh and forget about his fears. “Perhaps I’d be a unicorn in search of a rider.”
As I had hoped, he burst into hysterical laughter. It took him several attempts to gasp, “That’s so wrong! I keep imagining you penetrating me with your horn, and—” He giggled so hard, he had to wipe tears from his eyes.
I laughed along with him but focused on adding a finger to work him open.
His voice cracked as it got higher in pitch as he continued trying to talk through his amusement. “What if unicorn dicks were rainbows and their cum was glitter?”
I lost it as much as him. It took a bit of time before both of us composed ourselves. He sighed in relief. “Oh, man. I needed that, thank you. I’m not sure I’m ever going to stop laughing about that, wow.”
“It’s one of the many reasons I adore you,monpetit chou.” I worked another finger into him, waiting for him to relax into my motions. “I can’t wait for you to meet Felix, Wren, and North. You’ll have three new best friends who will love that about you, too. Their imaginations are equally vivid, so you’re in good company with them.”
“How vivid is vivid?”
“If you read Ever Princely or Finch Northish’s books, you’ll understand.” I grinned as another thought occurred to me. “And when you meet North’s mother and sister, you’ll learn the joys of being surrounded by so many people without filters. It’s quite shocking at times but makes things much more fun.”
