Zio
Thanks to Armand’shelp with getting me out of bed on time, we arrived early on the second day of the Japanese studies conference. It was surreal walking hand in hand with him, especially when he looked stunning in a black button-down shirt. It had vertical rainbow ombre stripes that made him seem taller somehow. Formfitting, it showed off his beautiful body and his tiny hips with his tight pants. I should have felt inferior in my sweater cardigan standing next to all his perfection, but I drew strength from the way our hands interlocked as we walked. There was an entire island of fun things to do, but he had chosen to spend his day with me. I accepted it as irrefutable proof that he loved me, which filled me with confidence.
As we neared the auditorium, I spotted Vigo and Alain talking to each other in the hallway. Both of them were grad students at Wintervale University and close friends. It almost seemed they might be more than just friends, but maybe I was projecting onto them, thanks to my involvement with Armand.
Vigo was classically handsome, with thick, dark hair, sapphire-blue eyes, and sharp features. He had on a well-cut black blazer over a dark gray shirt and slacks.
Alain wore a much flashier jacket. It was tangerine orange at the top with a gradient fade into white, decorated with pink and blue paint speckles. His black hair was curly and framed his face, with a hint of scruffiness that gave him a roguish appearance. He had beautiful gray-hazel eyes that were striking when paired with his predominantly Japanese features.
They waved at me as we came closer, so I walked over to them to say hello. Vigo was the first to greet us. “Hey, how’s it going?”
“It’s too early for my tastes.” My answer caused Armand to chuckle. “I’m happy to be here, though.”
Alain not so subtly checked out Armand, making something inside me stir with a rare hint of possessiveness. “I don’t remember seeing you here yesterday.”
“This is my boyfriend, Armand Bellamy.” It stunned me at how easily the words rolled off my tongue, but I quickly recovered. “He came to support me today, but he’s going to stay for some of the other presentations, too. Armand, this is Vigo van Rooyen. He’s the one who presented about the Dutch translator I told you about yesterday. This is his friend Alain Toussaint, who’s presenting today on the French Revolution in Japanese popular culture.”
Armand shook hands with Vigo first. “A pleasure. I’m sorry I missed your presentation on Heusken. It sounded fascinating.” That he cared enough to remember the name of the Dutch translator made me swoon. How did I get so lucky?
“Thanks. It’s nice to meet you.”
Armand shook Alain’s hand next. “I’m curious to hear more about why the Japanese are fascinated with the French Revolution. It seems strange to me.”
“I haven’t solved the mystery of why yet, but I’m working on it for my dissertation,” Alain said with a laugh. “If you have any thoughts afterward, I’d love to pick your brain.”
“I’m not sure how much help I can be, but you’re welcome to do so.”
Seeing how easily Armand interacted with them amazed me. It made me feel brave enough to ask, “Maybe we could talk more during the lunch break?”
“I think that’s a great idea, although Roo will probably be a prima donna again today and insist we sneak out to go to a real restaurant.” Alain calling his best friend “Roo” was another reason I wondered if there was something between them. It seemed too cute of a nickname for him to use unless they were actually a couple.
Vigo tilted his nose in the air with a disdainful sniff. “Sorry, but I did not fly all the way from Wintervale to enjoy the saddest cold-cut subs I’ve ever seen on stale bread. When there’s a great Hawaiian poke place around the corner from here, why would I settle for meh when I could have something delicious?”
Alain draped his arm over his friend’s shoulder as he laughed. “Trust me, I know better than to get between you and something yummy. Do you guys want to come with us?”
I looked up at Armand and received a subtle nod of permission. “Yeah, that would be great! Thanks for the invite.”
“We’ll have fun,” Vigo promised. “We should head into the auditorium, though. The opening keynote speech will start soon.”
As we walked toward the entrance doors, someone called out to Alain. Vigo told us to go ahead, so Armand and I went inside to sit. He draped his arm around the back of my chair to rest his hand on my shoulder. It filled me with more of the warm fuzzy feelings I was getting addicted to. I didn’t mean to gush, but I couldn’t help myself. “That was amazing! I can’t believe I did that.”
“Invited them to lunch?”
“That, but I also called you my boyfriend.” The word made my heart flutter like a metric ton of confetti falling from the sky at a parade. “I didn’t even stutter! I thought I would have to practice telling people I had a boyfriend. But saying it was the most natural thing in the world.”
He brushed his thumb against my shoulder as he smiled at me. “It made me happy to hear you claim me without fear.”
While I had never liked overt public displays of affection, I gave him two quick kisses in appreciation. “I don’t know how you fill me with such confidence. I’ll never be able to thank you enough for helping me live life without being afraid all the time anymore.”
“It’s because I’ll always be on your side, cheering you on.” The look of love he gave me was enchanting. “When you know you’re not alone, it’s easier to stand tall and walk proudly.”
Whatever the reason was, I’d never stop being grateful to Armand for picking me to adore.
* * *
Talkingto a group of strangers was one of the worst hells I suffered in academia. With teaching, I was always a nervous wreck standing in front of the class until I got comfortable and friendly with my students. The first two weeks of every term ended with me collapsing at home to take a nap to recover from the stress it put on my body. Once I connected with them, it got better. Otherwise, I’d never be able to pursue my dream of teaching.
I never would have gone to an academic conference to present if my advisor hadn’t forced me to submit my proposal for inclusion. The day I found out they had accepted me to take part, I had an epic meltdown that my poor roommate Rigby had helped me survive. He had been so generous with helping me work on my speech and slides for weeks while his boyfriend, Jude, cheered me on from the sidelines. Luca had talked me out of not going so many times, which was another reason he had reserved a room for me with his hotel points; he knew my guilt would force me to go.
