Zio
All I neededto tell Armand was, “Thanks, but I’m straight.” Those four little words should have been the easiest thing in the world to say, because they had been true my whole life. If I told him the truth, he’d back off.
But if I told him the truth,he’d back off. For some reason, that stopped me cold. Why? Sure, he was more beautiful than any woman I had ever seen. He looked like a model whose gorgeous smile would sell out any magazine he posed for on the front cover. His eyes were bluer than a summer sky, with a playful twinkle that detonated a bomb of butterflies inside my stomach. But he was a guy, so why was I all twisted up over him?
What was it about him that made me wish he’d never look away from me? I certainly didn’t understand why his cologne of dark spice with a hint of leather filled me with an unbearable urge to lick his neck to see if he tasted as good as he smelled. When he lifted my chin with his finger, it sent shivers racing down my spine as heat pooled in my belly. His offer to touch him exploded supernova flares within me, burning me with an unfamiliar need that scared me as much as it intrigued me.
It should have been easy to brush him off, to dismiss him as a playboy on the prowl for someone to warm his bed that evening. But when he had answered my question about his flaws, I had gotten a glimpse of the real him behind the flirt. He had lowered his guard, allowing me to see something beautiful in his genuine vulnerability. It moved my heart and inexplicably drew me to him. That was the Armand I wanted to get to know, but to what end?
The longer I looked at him, the more confused I got. Guys had hit on me before, but other than being mildly flattered, they had never tempted me before. But the glimpse of Armand’s nipples peeking out from behind the white roses on his see-through mesh shirt invited me to tease them with my tongue. Why did my fingers yearn to memorize the map of his body as I caressed him all over? And most importantly, why did those thoughts make my dick hard?
Because you’re not nearly as straight as you think, the voice in the back of my mind gleefully crowed.
Okay, so what if I sometimes got off on watching the guy fucking a woman in porn? I was an academic nerd at heart, so my inquiring nature always questioned everything. Wondering what being on the receiving end of that kind of pleasure was perfectly natural. Women seemed to love sucking a huge cock in those videos, so of course I couldn’t help but be curious about the experience. Sure, I had gotten off on a few confusing dreams about having sex with my roommate, Rigby. But I was comfortable enough with my masculinity to acknowledge other men as being attractive. And Armand was the most handsome man I had ever seen in my life.
Excuses, excuses, excuses.
He brushed his thumb along the outline of my jaw, sending a shudder through me when combined with his sexy French accent. “Pardon. It seems I’ve overwhelmed you.”
When he drew his hand back, my body reacted without my permission. I captured it in mine, my fingers tracing his long, elegant ones. Confusing desire burst into flames inside me, filling me with a desperate need to have him touch me all over. “No. Yes. I mean, a little. Um. Sorry.”
“There’s no need for apologies. Flustered is a cute look on you.” He gave me a reassuring smile as he interlaced his fingers with mine.
My smaller hand fit in his larger one, like a perfect puzzle piece slotting into place. Why did that make me want him to wrap me up in his embrace? Where did my sense of certainty come from that being held by him would be an incredible experience? Did he inspire this reaction in every straight man? If so, god help us all.
“Why me?” The way I blurted out the question seemed to amuse him. “Out of everyone here, why did you choose me to talk to?”
“Because you’re the only one who intrigued me.” He tilted his head at a businessman sitting on the other side of the bar, who looked very dour as he watched us. “I’ve visited Luxurian Hotel bars all over the world. There are countless attractive guys like him looking for a good time everywhere I go. But I’ve never seen anyone like you, wearing a hoodie, smiling at the ocean, lost in thought.”
It was a compliment, but I still felt self-conscious. “Usually, my clothes earn me lots of disapproving looks since people assume I can’t afford to stay here. I mean, they’re not wrong. A single night in a suite here is more than my monthly stipend I get for teaching at my university.”
“What’s your secret?” He rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand, raising chills on my skin.
“My older brother is a business consultant. He spends most of the year staying at Luxurian Hotels for work, so he has millions of membership points. Since he has more than he could ever use in one lifetime by himself, anytime I travel, he uses them to book me free stays. He’s a Diamond member in their reward program, so I’m always upgraded to the best rooms. I also get complimentary drinks in the bar as part of his perks. Otherwise, there’s no way in hell I’m paying almost thirty dollars for a single cocktail, no matter how delicious it is.”
He chuckled, the rich sound of it stoking the flames of my confusing need for him. “What a nice older brother you have.”
“Luca is the best. But yeah, that’s why I don’t fit in here.”
“That is something to be proud of, not embarrassed by.” He squeezed our interlocked hands. “It makes me want to know even more about you.”
The cynic in me suspected he was only interested in getting me into his bed. However, his expression was so sincere, I felt bad assuming the worst about him. But why else would he care? “To what end?”
“That’s what I’m curious to find out.” He trailed his fingers along my palm, down to my fingertips, sending tremors through me. “What do you say we make the most of our time here?”
A weird mix of fear and excitement swirled within me. “By doing what?”
“Let’s go sightseeing together. It’s much more fun with someone else than being by yourself,non?”
The crushing disappointment I felt that he wasn’t inviting me up to his room gave me whiplash. Why would I be upset about not getting something I shouldn’t want?
Because you’re dying for him to touch you, my inner annoying asshole reminded me in an obnoxious singsong taunt.Maybe his bedroom is on the itinerary of places to visit?
I forced myself to ignore that weirdness and focus on his actual offer. That meant putting aside the fact that he was a gorgeous god of a man. He was right that it would be way more fun to go around town with somebody to talk to than walk by myself with my headphones on to shut out the world. It would also give me something to take my mind off the stress of presenting at the upcoming academic conference.While part of me was excited, my anxiety still had my stomach tied up in knots over it.
What would we chat about, though? Could I do it without constantly tripping all over myself? Was it possible to see him as a regular person instead of a sex god waiting to tempt me into exploring my sexuality? Maybe it would get easier to hang out with him when I learned he was just another guy. I sure hoped so. Otherwise, I was fucked.
One can only hope, that annoying bastard crowed in my mind.
