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I swallowed hard. “W-w-what are you saying?”

“What I want from you is something I never imagined I would desire from any man.”

“Which is?” I whispered, putting my fork down so he wouldn’t see how badly my hands trembled in fear.

“Your love.” His words made every thought in my head screech to a stop, but he kept talking. “I’m not interested in a single enjoyable evening. I want you toneedme. More than that, I desire to adore you with all that I am, to cherish and take care of you. But I worry that it’s too much too soon. I don’t want to scare you off, when all I wish to do is hold you close and never leave your side.”

It was the single most romantic thing anyone had ever said to me. I didn’t know whether to swoon, burst into tears, or throw myself in his arms and babble with incoherent joy. There was so much to process, I wasn’t sure where to start. I couldn’t comprehend that someone as incredible as him feared I wouldn’t return his feelings. The dick who lived in the back of my skull was quick to point out that Armand had a long list of reasons to be scared. First and foremost would be me assuming I was straight until I met him.

For once in my life, I acted without caring what anyone thought of my actions. I got up and sat on his lap to throw my arms around him, burying my nose against his neck when he embraced me in return. “I’m sorry, I have too many feelings and not enough words. I need a minute.”

“That’s fine. I’m satisfied that you ran to me and not away from me.”

“I—you’re—it’s, I don’t know.” It frustrated me I couldn’t articulate my emotions. All I could do was talk it out and hope I said the right thing in the end. “I’ve wondered all day if I’d experience that gut-wrenching regret of ‘What did I do last night?’ I always agonize over my mistakes. It would be very on brand for me to spend the entire day beating myself up for what we did. Normally, I’d be dying of shame and wondering how I could ever face you again. That didn’t happen, though.”

“That’s good,non?”

I pulled back to make eye contact with him but stayed in his lap. “It’s amiracle. You have to understand, my inner voice is a wrecking ball of anxiety which is always tearing me down and viciously mocking and antagonizing me. But it didn’t do that this time.”

“What happened instead?”

Now that I was talking, the words wouldn’t stop spilling out of me. “Whenever I thought about you today, I’d have a warm, fuzzy glow as I remembered how you took care of me this morning and locked the door last night. I had a ton of fun at the conference, but I couldn’t wait to see you again. And when I wondered about what would happen when we went upstairs, well…” My deep blush finished my sentence for me.

His pleased expression set off a confetti cannon inside my stomach. “That’s wonderful.”

I needed him to understand the scale of the impossible thing he had done. “If I hadn’t met you, I would have been dying at the conference today.”

“What makes you say that?”

“My inner asshole would have been telling me I would humiliate myself in front of everyone because my presentation wouldn't be as good as theirs.” I drew a steadying breath. “But I’m excited about tomorrow, because you’ll be there in the audience. I can’t wait to talk to you about it later and return here to celebrate together.”

He smiled at me. “And what a celebration it will be.”

Instead of fear, his words filled me with indescribable joy. “Somehow, you’ve overridden my default angst about failing. I don’t understand how the hell you’ve done that in a few days when my therapists have spentyearstrying to teach me how to do that.”

We both laughed at that before I continued. “You’ve turned everything I thought I knew about myself upside down. You and your power over me should be terrifying. With things changing so fast, I should feel out of control and in danger of crashing. But I don’t want to run away from you, because I got a glimpse this morning of how wonderful it would be to be loved by you. The only thing I’m afraid of is not having more mornings and nights like that.”

“There would be no greater joy than being blessed with that kind of life together.”

“That’s why I’m going to be brave and selfish for the first time.” My heart hammered wildly as I stood on the edge of the cliff where I was about to change everything forever. With a deep breath, I took the leap of faith. “After we finish our cake, I’ll show you upstairs what I feel for you, because I’m doing a shitty job trying to explain it with words. I want you if you’ll have me. Not just here, but even when we get home to Sunnyside. I’m ready to see where this adventure takes us.”

Seeing Armand’s overjoyed expression was worth the embarrassment of speaking so openly. The passionate kiss he gave me confirmed I had made the right decision in choosing happiness with him.