I didn’t think getting off on the taste of somebody qualified, but it was something I wasn’t ready to get into with my brother yet. “Kinda.Hehas me interested in being with a man for the first time.” My heart hammered in my chest as I waited for my brother’s reaction.
“Damn, that was my next guess.”
“Seriously?” That had not been the response I had expected.
“It’s the only other thing I could think of that would make you insecure enough to ask me about.” He shrugged as if it was a logical explanation, which I suppose it was. “Tell me what’s going on.”
“We met at the hotel my first night here. From the very beginning, I experienced a weird magnetic pull to Armand that I couldn’t explain. And the more time we spend together, the harder it is to ignore my curiosity.”
Luca chuckled at how very me that statement was. “You’ve never been able to resist finding out more about things that intrigue you.”
It was the story of my life. “Everything about him makes me want more. It’s scary.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s a guy,” I replied with a shrug. “The logical part of my brain is still hung up on that. How did I go from never being into guys to wanting to be kissed by him?”
As my brother always did, he tried to walk me through understanding my issue by asking questions. “Are you morally opposed to being with a man?”
“Of course not,” I scoffed. “You know I believe love is love.”
“Does it gross you out when Jude and Rigby are together around you?”
The idea was laughable. “Their relationship makes me envious. They complete each other and are so loving that I wish I had a partner like that.” I left out the part about how seeing them kissing filled me with confusing thoughts that I always pushed to the depths of my soul to ignore.
See? Not so straight after all, are you? That threesome dream you had about them being with you should have been a—
I shoved that annoying asshole who lived in my head back into its box. To make sure it stayed there, I put a boulder on top of the lid. The last thing I needed was to think aboutthatwhile I was talking to my brother.
“Does gay sex make you uncomfortable?”
I squirmed in my chair before I forced myself to answer my brother’s question. “Only in the sense that I worry about penetration hurting.”
He laughed at my response. “I meant more in the ‘thinking about two guys hooking up grosses me out’ sense, but I guess that answers that. In that case, how does it make you feel imagining being the dominant partner?”
I snorted at the absurd idea. “Hey, I may not know much about gay sex, but everything about Armand screams he’s a top.”
“What if he’s verse?” At my confused expression, Luca clarified. “What if he’s as comfortable being on the bottom as on top?”
“I can’t imagine a world where he would let someone as inexperienced as me near his ass.”
“Being with women means you’re more experienced being the penetrating partner than the one on the receiving end,” he pointed out.
“Okay, that’s true.” I pulled out my phone and texted my brother some pictures of Armand so he’d understand. “Look at him. That man isnota bottom.”
My brother’s eyebrows arched up in surprise at the photos when he looked at them. “Well, if there was ever a guy worth switching teams for, it’d be him.Wow.”
“He’s French, funny, and charming, but there’s a very real side of him under the playful playboy that draws me to him.” Just thinking about him made me hot all over. “A single kiss from him was better than all the times I’ve kissed a womancombined. It fills me with a desire that’s so intense, it frightens me.”
“Don’t be afraid of it. Embrace it.” He set his phone aside. “As long as you’re safe, what’s the harm in experimenting?”
“Falling in love with him for real?” The thought turned my stomach into knots. “Everything about him is so dazzling, and that’s before sex has factored into it.”
“Does he live far away?”
I shook my head. “No, he lives in Sunnyside.”
“Then what’s wrong with falling in love?”
