I could see the chills on his skin my words inspired. “That’s an awfully big promise.”
“Non, it is a guarantee.” I chuckled at the involuntary squeak that escaped from him. “It wouldn’t be a one-and-done with you. Regardless of your decision, I wish to spend the rest of the trip together.”
He blinked at me in shock. “Really?”
“Oui. I mean it most sincerely.”
“Are you saying if I told you nothing would happen between us, you would still hang out with me?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying.” I did my best to reassure him. “This isn’t some elaborate ploy to get you into my bed, Zio. Being around you has been the most fun I’ve had in a long time. Going to your talk isn’t dependent upon us having an amorous adventure. Even if it’s only as a friend, I’ll still attend and support you.”
My reply overwhelmed him. “Um, wow. I don’t know why you feel that way, but that means a lot. Thank you.”
“You’re so genuinely yourself, which is a refreshing delight to me.”
He snorted in disbelief. “How can you find any delight in me being so neurotic?”
“Because you aren’t trying to be perfect,” I explained. “You’re authentically yourself, flaws and all. I admire that about you.”
His jaw dropped in shock, making it a challenge not to laugh at his comical reaction. “I’m sorry, are you seriously sitting there and saying that youadmireme for being weird?”
I couldn’t hold in my chuckle. “In a way, I suppose I am. You’re on full display, whereas part of me is always hidden. It makes me wish I was more like you.”
He held his temples in his hands as he stared at me. “Youwant to be more likeme? Why wouldanyonewant to be as fucked-up as me, let alone someone as amazing asyou?”
“Because I’m not brave enough to be my real self without fear like you.” Saying the words out loud lifted a weight off my chest I hadn’t realized had been there. “I’ve learned to live my life by being as desirable as possible to avoid rejection. The stunted child within me believes if I never get serious with someone, then I’ll never be hurt by them abandoning me like my parents did. I always told myself that being alone is better than being in pain. But now, I’m not so sure.”
His sympathy and understanding were a healing balm to my soul. “What changed?”
“I met you.” When he could only blink at me with a stunned expression, I continued. “Something deep within me is begging me to let you in to see all those parts of myself I’ve spent my entire life ignoring. Because other than Arsène, you’re the only other person I’ve ever felt would accept me.”
“Please be weird with me.” His cheeks flushed when I started laughing at how precious his reaction was. “Sorry, that came out wrong. I meant I want you to be comfortable enough to be yourself around me. And I’m not just saying that because I’m dying to know what you consider ‘weird’ about you.”
His words gave me a taste of freedom, which was more delicious than any dessert. “Does being an unrepentant hedonist who denies myself the things that give me the most pleasure count?”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure that would qualify. Can I ask why you do that?”
“To avoid succumbing to the temptation of love. Losing my heart to an intelligent cutie was too high of a risk for me to indulge. But I’m done being afraid of that.” I gave him a look that would leave no question in his mind that I was referring to him.
He appeared to get the message based on how he flushed to the tips of his ears. “You can decide to stop being afraid? That must be nice.”
“Only because the idea doesn’t frighten me as much as it excites me. I still have an irrational fear of heights, though.”
He scoffed in protest. “It’s not irrational! That’s a healthy paranoia designed to keep us safe from harm.”
I grinned as he revealed more of himself to me. “Since it seems you share that phobia, I guess I don't have to feel bad about not having zip-lining down a valley of trees on our itinerary.”
It was adorable how he blanched. “Oh,pleaseleave that off the list of things we have to do. No cliff diving, scuba diving, or off-roading adventures, thanks.”
“Well, there went all my afternoon plans.”
He looked horrified until he realized I was teasing him. “Hey! Don’t give me a heart attack. I thought you were serious for a second. I’d like to leave this island alive and not in a body bag, thanks.”
“Pardon. What do you say about heading back to the hotel to take a stroll along the beach, then refresh ourselves before having dinner together? It’ll give us a chance to get to know each other better.”
His smile was brilliant and beautiful, making my soul beg me to make him mine. “I’d like that.”
* * *
