“I do.” She nods and scoots closer to me, laying her head on my shoulder. Sean and Gus jump to the floor. “But I’m also tired of hearing the garage open and expecting to see Mom or Dad walk through the door. Without them, this house will always be empty, no matter how many hobbies I've tried to fill my life with.”
I get it now. The hobbies were her distraction, mine was Maddie. “You know, I’ve realized this house is just a building.” I squeeze her shoulder. “But home is a feeling.”
She’s quiet. Then she snorts. “Okay, you did not just come up with that.”
I poke her in the ribs. She’s so annoying. “Fine. I saw it online.”
She laughs and settles back into my side. “Maybe we can get someone we know to buy it so we can always come back. But I think I’m ready for a new adventure.”
I don’t know how she came to this conclusion, hours after ending a yearlong engagement, but I’m grateful. As hard as it will be to let it go, I know it’s what we need to do, and already, the weight off my shoulders is tangible.
“Okay…” Millie hits my arm. “Distract me from this awful night. Talk to me.”
It feels wrong to think about Maddie after all Millie has been through tonight, but I feel like I’ve just been given permission.
“I finally apologized to Maddie,” I say, choosing to keep the kiss a secret. I might as well be flying right now with how weightless I feel.
“Did she try to kill you?”
“Yes, and no.” The guilt I felt when she told me about her friend nearly killed me. But then I held her as she cried, and comfort found me once more. While I stroked her back and held her close, I promised myself I would never do anything to hurt her again. As of this moment, I’m still succeeding.
That kiss, though, as brief as it was, will keep me awake for weeks.
“Oh hey, if we are going to sell the house, we need to have one final party.”
I squeeze my eyes shut and fake a yawn. “It’s been a long day. Let’s talk about this some other time.” Like next year.
She gives me puppy dog eyes. “Come on, one last hurrah. It will be the party Mom and Dad never let us throw.”
I roll my eyes. But I’m in a good mood for the first time in a long time. So for whatever reason, I agree.
“Should we do a themed party? We should do a themed party.”
I already regret agreeing.
Chapter 24
Maddie
My brain is broken.
I haven’t been able to focus on anything for the past couple of days thanks to Connor. Every time I close my eyes, I’m back in my apartment, situated in his arms, not wanting to kill him.
It’s confusing, to say the least. And it’s screwing up everything else in my life. I ate a donut from the employee break room yesterday. Why they had donuts in the breakroom of a gym is beside the point. I ate a stale, bad-for-my-body donut and didn’t freak out about it. Also currently, my apartment is a mess because I’m still limping on my bad ankle and I don’t have the energy to clean. My life is literally upside-down.
I’ve come to only one conclusion. That tension between Connor and me? It’s all the unresolved anger mimicking passion. He only apologized so he can feel better about himself.
So if I accept his apology, he can stop being my client, and stop showing up where I am trying to make things right. That’s what I’ll do. At our next training session, I’ll forgive him and set him, and all these feelings, free.
Easy. I take a determined breath and finish setting up the volleyball net. Diedre is the first to stumble into practice after the bell rings. She’s got her earphones in but pulls them out when she sees me.
“How was your ride home Tuesday?” She waggles her eyebrows.
“It was… uneventful.” I avoid her gaze as I hobble into the closet for the ball cart.
“Is uneventful code for—”
“Nothing.” I holler from the closet. “It’s code for nothing.” I shove the cart onto the court and wheel it to the sidelines. “Now, about prom.”
