I sputter on air. “Of course I did. I graduated from college to do exactly that.”
“But you hate talking in front of people. I saw how anxious you got before each case.”
“I—” I freeze, the fire in my chest stamped out to smoke. I want to yellobjectionlike I was never able to do in court. But my tongue feels like it weighs a million pounds because he’s not wrong.
“I saw you.” His voice is a whisper now. “I saw how stressed you were. How much you pushed yourself toward perfection, down to every last calorie you consumed.”
My head whips back and forth. I wasn’t stressed. No more than anyone else. Sure, I couldn’t eat for an entire day before a trial and often almost passed out while presenting my opening argument, but that’s what I’d gone to school to do. That’s what I promised my parents I’d do, and I did it. I just have to figure out how to get back to it. But I will, I’ll show him.
“You don’t know anything about me.”
He takes another step forward, and I back up until my back hits the wall. “Dang it, Maddie, that’s all I’ve been trying to do.”
I reel back. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
He grabs the back of his neck in frustration. “What do you think it means?” He plants a hand on the wall behind my head, and his voice drops. “Put the evidence together. Tell me why I can’t escape you.”
Tension crackles through the air between us.
My heart pounds in my ears, matching my energy with each pulse. My eyes dart to that triangle of skin, to his hazel-green eyes, searching his face for the lie.
Because it is a lie. It has to be. He doesn’t care about me. He’s messing with my head to get a rise out of me. But I won’t give in.
“Do me a favor and give up,” I say.
I turn away from him, wanting nothing more than to stomp away, then I remember I have nowhere to stomp to.
I take the last remaining foot of space in this closet and drop to the floor, pull my knees up to my chest, and lean against the shelves.
Chapter 15
Connor
Maddie has been huddled in the corner for the last twenty minutes. She hasn’t moved, except to shiver now and then.
I haven’t stopped watching her, waiting for her to look up and give me a chance to apologize. I wanted to let her get her frustration out first before I begged for her forgiveness, but the conversation took a different turn. One where I pretty much admitted I had feelings for her. And she told me to give up. As if it’s that simple. She’s been my focus for years. Four months without fighting with her nearly killed me.
Is this why Millie called me a jerk?
By the way, where is she? She claims to be such a wonderful big sister but can’t pick up on my “help me, I’m stuck in a freaking closet” vibes from across town? This is why we should drive together—to save money and prevent one another from ending up in situations like this. But she usually heads out with Justin after her class, and I’d rather scrub the urinals in the boys’ locker room.
I stare at the Snickers sitting beside me on the cement. It was probably melting in my pocket before, but this concrete room has cooled off enough. It should be ready to eat by now. If only I could get Maddie to eat it.
Her eyes are closed, but her body jerks, and then she relaxes against the shelf again. A soft snore escapes her lips.
She’s asleep. She can’t be comfortable against those uneven shelves.
Would she kill me if I scooted close enough that she could lean her head on my shoulder? She seemed pretty determined to smash something with that bat earlier.
After a few more minutes of watching her shiver and jostle in her sleep, I take my life in my hands and scoot toward her. I slip off my button-up and drape it over her body before sliding up next to her.
I hold my breath, but she doesn’t move. I wait a few more moments then gently drop my arm over her shoulders.
I expect her to go stiff, push away, kill me, the usual, but instead, she cuddles into my chest. My heart pounds so loud and fast there’s no way she’ll be able to sleep through it’s all out drum solo. But after a few minutes, she’s still there, clutching my shirt around her and softly snoring.
So this is what it’s like to hold a woman I have feelings for. Albeit some of those feelings are annoyance and frustration.
I know it’s the fatigue and the hopelessness of the moment. We really might not make it out of here until morning, but I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to hold her for real. When she’s awake, holding me back.
