My knees buckle. “Fine.” Ugh. Why do I have to be such a good friend?
“Thank you!” she squeals. “Now let’s find you something to wear.”
I glance at my pink floral pajama set. What kind of awful place doesn’t allow for comfort like this?
Twenty minutes later, I’m feeling pinched and squished inallthe wrong places.
It has nothing to do with the outfit Karli forced me into and everything to do with the number of people in this place. It’s so crowded I can barely breathe. I can’t even lift a hand to twist in my hair, and as much anxiety as I’m experiencing with this many people in my space, I need to do so.
“Isn’t this so fun?” Karli jumps with the rest of the crowd, her top knot bouncing like it’s got its own set of legs.
I don’t join in. “I’m assuming that’s a rhetorical question, and you don’t want my honest answer?”
“What?” she yells back.
Forget it. “I’m going to the bathroom.”
“Okay!” she yells, then starts singing at the top of her lungs, so horribly off-key the guy next to her shoots her a frown and tries to move away.
Why do people enjoy this?
It takes me five minutes to move a measly couple of feet. I’m not claustrophobic, but the fact that I can’t get to an exit is kicking my anxiety up a notch… or fifteen.
I focus on taking deep breaths and channel my inner ferocious tiger, which actually looks more like a soft and fluffy kitten, and use my elbows to push through the mass of people.
I only get stepped on four times, but it’s worth it to be free.
I find the bathroom and take my first full breath of the night once I’m safely locked in a stall, not being touched or breathed on by anyone.
The deep breath was a mistake, and I gag on the stench of vomit and alcohol permeating the dank room.
I pull out my phone for a distraction. Anything will do at this point.
MichaelB22: Still on the fence about dinner? How about I tell you a few things so you can get to know me? I promise I’m not a creeper, despite what my brother and best friend said.
Hmm. Sounds exactly like what a creeper would say. But I keep reading anyway.
MichaelB22: I have two brothers and a sister. I’m the oldest and most attractive, obviously. I work at a cabinet shop with my family, which is great most of the time, but when my brothers found out I had a dating app on my phone…Well, let’sjust say, work has been less than fun the last few days.
I smile, trying to picture it. I don’t have any siblings, and I was always jealous of my friends who did. It would have been nice to have someone by my side during the divorce. It was messy and awful, and I never wanted to add to the pain my parents were experiencing by complaining about what I needed. All I wanted was two parents who could talk to each other instead of using me as the go-between. Two people who still showed up and stood up for me. Is that what siblings do?
MichaelB22: Tell me something about you.
My fingers hover over the screen. Do I want a stranger on the internet to know anything about me? I’m a private person. I don’t even have social media, but right now, I want to talk to someone.
NotthatJuliet: My parents are divorced.
Shoot, why did Isend that? He doesn’t even know my favorite color. He definitely doesn’t need to hear my family drama.
What do I say to fix this?
I start typing, but a response comes through.
MichaelB22: That sucks. I’m sorry.
It does. I think of the text I received from my dad just a few hours ago. He wants to take me to Disneyland for Christmas… again. Probably so we don’t have to sit in his condo in awkward silence for hours. He told me not to mention the trip to my mother. But Mom called me last week, requesting I come home for Christmas and not spend it with “that terrible excuse of a man.”
NotthatJuliet: They both expect me to choose them for Christmas and will both be offended if I don’t. Am I an awful person for wanting to ditch them and do something I want to do for a change?
