“Will you come in with me?” I ask and then regret it. That’s the last place she probably wants to be.
“Of course.” Lennox stands and holds out a hand to me. I take it and let her pull me up. Once we are standing, she doesn’t let go, and neither do I. She’sthe steady presence that I need to see this through.
When we reach the door, she gives my hand a squeeze and pulls me in.
Chapter 21
Grant
I don’t know what I expect to see when I walk into the sterile hospital room, but it’s not my dad and aunt Megan happily talking. They never got along while I was growing up.
“Grant.” Megan jumps out of her chair and rushes to me. She pulls me into a hug, and Lennox starts to pull her hand free, but I hold it tight.
I still need her.
“I didn’t know you were coming,” Megan says as she pulls away.
“I didn’t know either,” I admit. I turn to Lennox. “This is Lennox, Lennox, my Aunt Megan.” I say.
Lennox steps forward and gives Megan a hug. “So nice to meet you.”
“Grant,” my father says from the bed, and I look at him. When did he get so old? He’s barely fifty but he looks twenty years older than that, and his skin is sunken and yellow.
“Dad.” I swallow. “How long have you been sick?” I hear myself ask.
My dad blinks and looks away. “For longer than I’ve wanted to admit.”
Lennox squeezes my hand, sensing my need for her. I guess I’ve always needed her more than she knows.
“I brought this on myself.” My dad's voice cracks, and all kinds of broken pieces of my heart start beating again. “You deserve a lot more from me than I ever gave you. Maybe I can offer an explanation.”
I open my mouth, but he cuts me off.
“I know an explanation doesn’t take away the years of pain you suffered. But that's about all I can offer you now.”
I turn to Lennox. “You can leave, if you want.”
She looks up at me, completely unafraid, like this is just another prank we’re about to pull on her brothers. “I don’t want to leave.”
My heart bursts with love for this woman at my side. I've given her every out I can think of, but she hasn't left. I nod and pull Lennox closer to the bed. We take a seat and wait.
Megan sits back down in her chair, and then Dad speaks. “I wanted to be a good dad to you. But I was so angry at your mother for leaving us like she did. I let that anger fester until I couldn’t handle it anymore. So I started drinking to numb the pain.”
Dad sniffs, and the man in front of me is not the father I grew up with. This man is real and human.
“I was always so grateful my father took over caring for you. I’d see you two together, and you both looked so much happier without me.”
My hand clenches around Lennox’s. “All I wanted was a father who actually cared about me.”
He nods, and tears drip down his cheeks. “I was so lost to my addiction, I forgot about you. Addiction is a funny thing like that. It might take away your pain, but it just adds that pain to someone else’s.” He pauses and his breath comes heavy. I wait for him to continue. “The more I drank the worse I felt. So I drank more. It was a never-ending cycle, and you were the victim.”
I sniff and scratch at my nose.
“It took waking up to a death sentence to set me free this time.” My dad says with a rough exhale.
My head and my heart are at war. I want to be angry at him forever, but when has being angry ever fixed anything?
“I don’t expect you to ever forgive me,” Dad says. “I know I don’t deserve it. But I needed you to know that it was never you. The only problem was me.” Tears stream down my father’s sallow cheeks and one drips from my own. “I’m so sorry.”
