Page 7 of Guarded Love
"Have to be?" I tilt my head, genuinely curious now.
He hesitates, like he's weighing how much to say. "I have anxiety. The organization helps. If things are in their right place, my brain... works better."
"Oh." I wasn't expecting that level of honesty. "That makes sense."
"Yeah." He shrugs, looking slightly uncomfortable. "It's not a big deal. Just how I manage things and the systems I create to get things done."
“I get that. I mean, not anxiety specifically, but... coping mechanisms." I chew my lip, wondering if I should say more.The alcohol has loosened my tongue already, but this doesn’t make me feel as uncomfortable as admitting I like to play video games.
"I have ADHD," I finally admit. "Diagnosed when I was in middle school. It was a struggle having the people in my life constantly tell me they think I should just try harder and that would solve all of my problems." I roll my eyes. "Like I haven't been trying my whole life."
I study Blaise’s facial expression and find no pity, just understanding. "That explains the gaming. Hyperfocus?"
"Yeah," I say, surprised he knows the term. "It's like everything else falls away. I can sit there for hours and not even realize time is passing."
"Must be nice sometimes," he says. "To shut everything else out."
"It is. Until I realize I've forgotten to eat or sleep or... you know, basic human functions." I laugh softly. "But it beats the alternative of bouncing between fifteen different thoughts in thirty seconds."
He smiles, and it reaches his eyes in a way that makes my stomach do that weird flippy thing again. "Sounds like we're opposite sides of the same neurospicy coin," he says. "My brain gets stuck on one thought and loops it endlessly. Your brain hops from thought to thought."
"Yeah, exactly. It's like my brain is a browser with fifty tabs open at once, and I can't close any of them."
"Mine's more like one tab that keeps refreshing with the same error message."
I laugh at that. "Wow, that's perfect. We're like the world's most dysfunctional web browser."
"Firefox and Chrome's neglected cousin nobody downloads."
"The one that crashes your computer if you try to stream video," I add.
We're both laughing now, and it feels... good. Easy. Like we've been friends forever instead of two people who barely acknowledge each other's existence outside of Knox's orbit.
A chime from Blaise’s phone interrupts us, and he stands up. "That's probably the pizza."
While he handles the delivery, I take another long drink of water and walk over to his desk. The room still tilts somewhat when I move too quickly, but the sharp edges of drunkenness have softened, thankfully. I should shoot Ari a text to let her know I’m fine, but I get distracted when Blaise reenters the room.
"Pizza delivery," he announces, holding up a medium-sized box that smells like heaven. My stomach growls audibly in response, reminding me just how long it's been since I've eaten.
"Oh my gosh, that smells amazing," I say.
I watch as he walks over to his desk. He uses his free hand to move his notebooks and laptop out of the way to put the pizza down on the surface. When he opens the box, I swear I could sink down onto the floor and cry. The pizza looks as good as it smells and it needs to get into my belly pronto.
"Grab a slice before I inhale the whole thing," I say, reaching for a piece before he can even offer. The cheese stretches in perfect strands as I lift it, and my stomach does another growl of anticipation.
"Whoa, slow down there." Blaise laughs as I fold the slice in half and take an enormous bite. "The pizza's not going anywhere."
I can't respond because my mouth is full of the most delicious thing I've ever tasted, or at least that's how it feels right now. The combination of warm cheese, sauce, and crispy crust is exactly what my alcohol-addled body needs. I make an embarrassing moan of pleasure that I immediately regret.
"That good, huh?" Blaise asks, a smirk playing on his lips as he takes his own slice.
I swallow before answering. "When you're drunk and haven't eaten since noon, cardboard would taste amazing. But this is definitely better than cardboard."
"Excellent." He sits cross-legged on the floor, his back against his bed, and gestures for me to join him.
I hesitate for only a second before sliding down to sit across from him. "So," I say after devouring half my slice, "tell me something else I don't know about you."
Blaise chews thoughtfully, a strand of cheese hanging from his mouth before he catches it with his finger. "Like what?"
