Right.
“Yes, of course. I’m sorry,” Retta said. They’d had a fifteen-minute conversation on their first date about dairy alternatives.
Long after they’d passed the ice cream cart, they still hadn’t landed on a conversation topic of substance. Maybe they’d used up all their interesting stories during date number one.
When they moved out of the way of an approaching cyclist, Steve grabbed her arm to prevent her from falling into the large garden bed. As they straightened, she looked at the place where he’d been holding her. She felt nothing. It wouldn’t be so notable if she couldn’t imagine the sparks that would run across her body if—
God. When would these incessant thoughts end?
“I need to tell you something,” Steve said when they stopped to watch some geese swim in the pond.
Was he not feeling it either? That would be the best-case scenario. They could go their separate ways without any hard feelings, and Retta wouldn’t feel like this bad date was her fault.
“I Googled you,” Steve said, picking up a pebble from the ground and skipping it across the water.
Not what she expected.
“I’ve been trying to figure out a way to tell you, but I was worried you might think it was creepy—”
“Oh. Steve, don’t worry about it. It’s not a big deal.”
He said something else after that, but she didn’t hear it because dread was setting in. She’d have to find a way to let him down easy after all.
“You’re not enjoying yourself,” Steve said, his statement cutting through all the mental noise.
She almost protested, but he’d handed her a perfect segue. “It’s not you.”
A cliché. Brilliant.
Steve smiled. “I suspected this might happen.”
Retta straightened and looked directly at him. “Why?”
“When we bumped into each other at the conference, you told me you were seeing someone, and you looked really happy… You also called me ‘Duncan’ when we got out of our cars today.”
Retta closed her eyes. “No, I didn’t.”
“It’s fine.”
“I’m so sorry. I-it’s complicated.”
Steve only reacted with a slight head tilt. “How complicated?”
“I think I’m in love with him,” she said before letting out a big puff of air.
When the hell did that happen?
Steve nodded for an extended amount of time before saying, “Oh, okay. Cool.”
She thought she had this under control, but her subconscious had decided to shove the truth to the forefront. Now she was back where she was a year ago: in love with someone who wasn’t in love with her.
“We can talk about it,” Steve said.
Retta massaged her temples. “Why would you want to hear all that?”
“Both my parents are therapists. I grew up talking everything out. It helps. Also, it’s clear I have no chance.”
She was about to reject the offer and simply wait till she saw her friends to unload, but she was still buzzing from her admission. “Fine. Sure. We can do that.”
