Page 17 of Meet Odin
I tried to avoid dwelling on the attack, especially on a day like today. However, those haunting emotions from it never seemed to retreat far enough away from my thoughts. I had been home when Luca Carazzo ambushed me.
At first, he had tried to persuade me to help him. He said he needed all the documentation that he could find to dismantle my family and put them behind bars. I laughed at him, and I made it clear that I wasn’t a willing participant in his plan. I didn’t threaten him, or even raise my voice. I just simply stated that I wasn’t interested. I had no idea why he thought his plan would work, but I tried to walk away as quickly as possible. He’d never arrest the men of my family. We’re a multi-generational, organized crime unit. We know how to hide the bodies where they will never be found.
My first mistake was that I turned my back to him in the hallway. I had planned to make my exit, when he shoved me face first into the wall. I had been trained in basic self-defense, but he was too strong and cuffed my wrists behind my back.
He pinned me in place with his body, and one side of my face was smashed against the wall. He told me that I didn’t have a choice. When I told him to go fuck off, he lifted my skirt, pulled my panties down and entered me. It was the most degrading thing I’d ever experienced.
My family would go ballistic if they knew we had an undercover cop among us. It would be a hit to their pride that they missed the signs. If the other factions caught wind of it, the consequences would be disastrous. They would have ceased all business with us, and when we couldn’t pay, they’d pick a part our territory for their own gain.
However, it wouldn’t hold a candle to how feral they would be if they knew he had raped me. We weren’t as old world as some of the other families. They wouldn’t care that I wasn’t a virgin. They would just assume that it had been my decision and arrange our marriage. However, no one would arrange a marriage with Luca Carazzo. There was no benefit. If they accepted it, then they would be a laughing stock. If they didn’t, I would be shunned. It didn't matter that I hadn't consented. They couldn't find out. I wondered if my new husband would be able to tell. I started to frown at the thought.
The door opened to the suite, and Katalina stuck her head in.
Kat and I had been best friends since elementary school, ever since she'd fearlessly stuck up for me on the playground. She was the spark, and I kept her grounded. We were besties for life, but I knew she kept people at arm's length with her brashness. I wanted nothing more than for her to find happiness with the right man, someone who would recognize the diamond in the rough she truly was
“How much longer do I have to hide out in here?”
“I'm not sure. I am hiding from my mother and thought you could use some company. You know. Maid of Honor duties and all.”
“Why are you hiding now?”
“I made the mistake of saying that I’d rather be some rich man’s whore instead of his wife. It kind of slipped out in the heat of an argument. I didn’t really mean it, but I couldn’t take it back.” Katalina shrugged.
“You didn’t double down, did you?”
There was a pause.
“Kat! You didn’t, did you?”
“Maybe.” She paused. “Okay, they invited one of their new capos over for an introduction, and I said that if families were just going to sell their daughters, I’d rather be a whore. At least you get paid to sleep with gross men. He didn’t hear me, but my mother did.”
“I can’t believe you!” She would never learn.
“My mother didn’t say anything until the capo had left for the evening. That’s when she made sure I knew she was 'disappointed' in my behavior.” Kat made air quotes. “My father wasn't in the room, otherwise, I am sure they would have arranged my marriage on the spot.”
I liked to think I knew her better than anyone. “You want to be married for love,” I said to her.
“No, I want to be free.”
“Do you think Toula is free?”
“It’s funny, Toula can do whatever the fuck she pleases, but she only has that freedom because Ilya allows it. Seems barbaric. If I marry, I want a man who’s going to leave me alone. I don’t need him slobbering over me every goddamn day.”
“Marriage isn’t like that, or at least I don’t think it is.”
“You’re about to find out in an hour.”
“Have you seen him?” I asked her.
“No. He came in, and they immediately whisked him off to the other suite.”
“It’s alright. It’ll be alright.” I needed a pep talk.
“Who are you trying to convince?”
“I just have to get through this, and everything will be alright.” I didn’t have the energy to fight.
Katalina walked over to me and placed her hands on my shoulders. Holding me away from her, she took a good look at my dress and then hugged me tight.
