Page 35 of Rejected Heart
I rolled out of bed and made my way to the door. I opened it to find I’d been right. My mom had decided to drop by.
“Good morning, Liam. Late start today?”
I stepped back to allow her the space to come inside. She kissed my cheek as she passed by me with grocery bags in her arms.
“Good morning, Mom.” I followed her to the kitchen. “You know you don’t have to buy me groceries.”
She set the bags down and shot me a look that told me she wasn’t interested in debating me on what she could and couldn’t do for her son who was going through it.
I held my hands up in surrender. “I appreciate you doing it, though.”
A slow smile spread across her face. “You’rewelcome. And it wasn’t any trouble, really. I just tossed some things in these bags before I left the house. They aren’t my reason for being here now.”
My brows shot up. “Oh? What’s going on?”
She opened her purse, dug her hand inside, and pulled out a stack of envelopes. “A bunch of mail came for you throughout the week. I think most of it is junk, but the one on top arrived yesterday. I found it when I went through the mail last night. That looks important.”
I took the stack from her, expecting all of it to be junk mail, but my lungs stopped functioning when I took in the handwriting on the envelope on the top. I’d recognize that handwriting anywhere.
Dropping the rest of the mail on the counter, I clenched that one so tight in my grasp that it began to crinkle.
“This is her,” I declared, an edge of disbelief in my tone.
“I had a feeling.”
Unable to wait another second, I tore open the envelope and pulled out the folded sheet of paper.
Dear Liam,
I’m not quite sure where to begin, but I couldn’t allow another day to go by without writing to you.
It’s been difficult to get through the days knowing how badly you must be hurting after how I left. Please know that it was nevermy intention to cause you any pain. If there is one thing that I could change in all that has happened, it’s that. I would do anything to stop you from feeling an ounce of heartache.
I’ve spoken to my mom, and I know you’ve been in touch with her. In fact, I sent this letter to her. It was fully sealed, addressed, and ready to send to you. I included it with a note to her to send it to you after she called me. I’ve told her where I am, doing it only with the promise that she doesn’t share that information with you right now. I know this probably isn’t what you want to hear, but I’m begging you not to ask her where I am. She’s my mom and deserves to know where her daughter is, but I don’t want her to feel like she’s stuck in the middle. When I’m ready, I’d like to be the one to share those details with you.
I’m sorry, Liam.
I’m sorry if this isn’t what you expected. To be completely honest, it caught me off guard, too. But I’m where I need to be to do the things I’ve got to do. I’ve even made myself a list, so I can cross those things off as I accomplish them and get myself one step closer to coming back to you.
I want you to know that I’ve gotten all your calls. I’ve listened to your voicemails. I’m sorry that Ijust can’t bring myself to call you back. Please don’t take that to mean that I don’t love you. My love for you is precisely the reason I can’t call.
Because I can’t be there with you right now. And I know that if I call you back, I’ll hear your voice and come running back to you. I guess that’s probably what you would want. Truthfully, it’s what I ultimately want, too.
But not now.
I need time.
And I’m hoping you can find a way to give me that time without hating me for leaving you like I did.
I promise to reach out to you soon. Maybe by then, I’ll have more to share.
All my love,
Layla
How it waspossible to feel such immense relief and devastation all at once made no sense. But that was exactly what I felt.
This letter.
