Because Renee’s brain hated her, a voice in her head said,Imagine if it was Ket Siong saying this to you.It was like someone had put their fist in her chest and squeezed.
Nine days had passed since she’d had any interaction with Ket Siong. Not that she’d been wondering how he was; what he was doing; what he thought of her. Whether he was as upset and bewildered by her cutting off contact as she had been over his rejection of her, all those years ago.
He must be thinking she’d ghosted him because he’d challenged her, told her home truths she didn’t want to hear. He had no way of knowing how his revelations were haunting her—how many hours she’d spent poring over articles about Freshview’s iniquities and Stephen’s disappearance.
She’d read through theHornbill Gazette’s archive of posts on Ensengei, including the two entries mentioning Stephen. These shed no light on his fate; they simply quoted him as an environmental campaigner. Renee was subscribed to the blog now, when a couple of weeks ago she’d never heard of it.
Not that her reading had helped her decide what to do. She could see it was simple for Ket Siong. Even if Freshview hadn’t been responsible for Stephen’s disappearance, by their own admission, they were culpable. Destroying huge tracts of rainforest might be legal; that didn’t mean it was right. Anyone involved with Freshview was ultimately profiting off their wrongdoing.
Ket Siong wouldn’t care about everything that complicated the matter for Renee. Her dad’s expectations; her burgeoning not-quite-friendship with Su Khoon; the way she was doing what her family wanted of her for the first time in her life.
It wasn’t just about her family. Getting this deal through was a matter of professional pride. Renee’s entire life had been about being good at her job. It wasn’t like she had much of anything else to fall back on.
At least Ket Siong only had half the picture. He wouldn’t know the other reason she’d blocked him—pure jealousy.
God, she was so pathetic.
She felt drained. The waitstaff were clearing away the platesfor the dessert course, the petits fours had come out, and coffees were being served. Maybe she could slip away.
Andrew didn’t seem to have noticed her silence.
“I know we had our problems,” he was saying, “but the good times were good, right? It’s never been the same with anyone else. I’ve missed you. I miss the person I was when we were together.”
Renee had been on the verge of getting up, announcing she had a headache (not tonight, dear). But this was too much. “Andrew, when we were together, you used to go through my phone and get upset over my guy friends’ messages. You can’t call that a healthy relationship.”
Andrew seemed to take a perverse pleasure in getting told off.
“It was because I could never believe you really wanted to be with me,” he said, wide-eyed. “I was always terrified someone was going to come take you away.”
“Well, nobody did,” said Renee. “We broke up because you were sexting another girl. Remember?”
Andrew heaved a sigh. “Biggest mistake of my life. But—I’m not saying it was right, what I did, but I never cheated on you. I never met up with her, it was just texting. It was dumb, I should never have done it. But all of that, it was about me, Renee. How I felt about myself. It wasn’t that I didn’t care about you.”
Engaging with him had been a mistake. Renee had thought if she made him mad enough, he’d back off.
It wasn’t as though Andrew had ever actually likedher. He’d liked the idea of her: her family, their wealth, her looks, her accent. He’d even liked the idea of having a girlfriend who ran her own business. It was the reality he’d had problems with—the fact it meant Renee worked all the time and had a mind of her own.
“I wasn’t ready to admit it then,” said Andrew. “But being with you made me feel insecure. I knew you were out of my league.”
“Look, it was a long time ago,” said Renee. “We both made mistakes.” For instance,shehad been dumb enough to date him, whereashehad been a giant asshole. “But we’ve moved on. You’vegot Felicia and your family, and this great new role. And this project—it’s such an amazing opportunity. I want to take it forward on the best possible terms.”
Andrew’s face darkened. His hand tightened on her knee, his fingers digging into her flesh. “Stop avoiding the subject. You think I can’t tell you’re trying to fob me off?”
For a moment Renee was flung suddenly back in time. She was in her flat, staring at Andrew’s red face as he screamed at her, knowing she was in danger.
“Andrew, you’re hurting me,” she said, and heard her voice wobble.
“Oh, Mr. Yeoh,” said Lin. “Heng Yee is saying he has a contact in local government here, maybe we can talk to them about our issue with planning. Do you want to explain to him?”
Heng Yee was one of Su Khoon’s guys. Leaning past the back of Lin’s chair so he could catch Andrew’s eye, he said:
“I don’t know if my contact can help, but I’m happy to connect you guys.”
Andrew let go of Renee’s knee, forcing a smile.
Renee said, “Heng Yee, why don’t you come over here so you can talk? I’m getting up anyway.” She pushed back her chair, standing up.
Lin wouldn’t meet Renee’s eyes, but Renee caught her darting a nervous glance at Andrew. She had a feeling Lin was aware of everything that had happened, down to the hand on the knee.
