Good, thanks. Excited about listening to my new VN!
It’s not very exciting. I wasn’t sure whether to tell you, but I thought you’d want to know…
The cab was barely moving. Su Khoon was busy making a call. Renee gave in to temptation and put in her earphones.
Nathalie’s voice came through, sounding unusually grave.
“I am sorry about whatever it is that has happened with Ket. But—look, I haven’t been sure whether to mention this, especially since you decided to be ‘friends.’” The quotation marks were perfectly distinct in her voice, as was the disapproval. “But I was at Foyles a couple of weeks ago, and Ket was there, at the café with a woman. I am not saying it was a date, but I couldn’t tell you it wasnota date. There was definitely something going on.
“I crept away like a little mouse so he did not see me. But…” Nathalie cleared her throat delicately. “I bumped into him later, in the bookshop. He was by himself. So I asked him, you know, what he was doing there. And he didn’t mention her. I don’t think he realised I saw him earlier.
“Of course, Ket does not have to tell me if he is meeting up with women. Maybe you know what it was all about, and I have been worrying for nothing. But”—at this point Nathalie’s voice grew fierce—“I remember always what he did to you and if hehurts you again, I will track him down and restring a piano with his intestines. You say the word and I will do it.”
Renee stifled a laugh. Even to herself, it sounded like a sob. Su Khoon was still on the phone, but he gave her a startled look.
She shook her head, pasting a smile on her face. She didn’t need to play Nathalie’s voice note a second time—every word was seared into her brain—but she did it anyway.
Her eyes were stinging. She wasn’t about to cry, that would be ridiculous. But she turned towards the window, away from Su Khoon, so he couldn’t see whatever it was that her face was doing.
She felt like she’d been slapped, absurd overreaction though it was. It wasn’t like Ket Siong had definitely been on a date—though Nathalie had never been wrong before when she sensed something was going on; her judgment in these matters was unimpeachable. In any case, even if Nathalie was right once again, it was none of Renee’s business what women Ket Siong met up with at cafés, or anywhere. She was the one who’d wanted things to stop at a hookup.
But he gave me his scarf,she thought stupidly.He put his scarf on me.
So what?jeered an inner voice.That means he belongs to you now? You’re betrothed because he lent you his scarf for five minutes? Don’t be pathetic.
Too late for that. Ten years too late.
She’d had good reasons for not wanting to date Ket Siong. If she’d had the sense to stay within the tidy lines she’d drawn for them, it would have been fine. Their friendship would have been safe, an inconsequential niceness that could never hurt her. But she’d never been able to keep a rein on her heart when it came to him.
The worst part was that she’d had a chance, at one point in time. Not anymore. Even if she reached out to him now, apologised, it was questionable whether he’d want anything to do with her. She’d lost his respect.
Who could blame him? Not much of what Renee had done over the past twenty-four hours was worthy of respect.
She couldn’t think about this anymore.
Renee fumbled for her phone.
No gross piano repairs needed, I promise. Got to work, but I’ll VN you this evening?
She paused, then typed:
Love you.
This was good, she told herself. It confirmed that her resolution to pull away from Ket Siong had been the right one. At least now she knew where she stood. There was no risk of her being carried away by the tide of her feelings again, wrecking herself against his indifference.
When Renee next checked her phone, after the debrief meeting with Su Khoon’s team and the call updating her dad on how the presentation had gone (during which Su Khoon had even let her talk for half a minute), Nathalie had messaged back.
Love you too.
But she hadn’t expected anything less from Nathalie. What spiked Renee’s heart rate, sent the blood rushing to her cheeks, was the notification of a message from Ket Siong.
I’m sorry about last night. I told you what I did because I trust your judgment, but I didn’t handle it well. I’d like to talk to you. Can we meet?
Renee’s throat ached. She wanted so much to reply. For things to go differently this time around.
She almost did. But then that snapshot of Stephen Jembu came back to her—his hair ruffled by the wind, eyes creased.
Her heart failed her. What could she say to Ket Siong, if they met? How could she look him in the eye?
