“You’ve done well, but your company cannot compare to something like Chahaya,” he’d said on the phone, earlier that day. “People will look at you and think, who is this young girl trying to come in and give orders? If Su Beng and Su Khoon knew how to behave themselves, I wouldn’t be looking elsewhere. But your brothers…”
Dad let out a breath, not quite a sigh. “Their lives have been too easy. At least you don’t take things for granted. And you are also my child. It’s only fair I give all three of you a chance. It’s whether you want to or not.”
There had been no doubt in his voice that Reneewouldwant to.
And she did. To take over Chahaya would be a challenge on a new scale, a huge level-up in terms of money, influence, and visibility. Renee knew her dad was right that most people would assume she wasn’t up to the job—and she knew she could do it, tough as it would be. She would never have a better chance to prove her mettle to everyone who had ever doubted her. Including, most importantly, her family.
Ket Siong’s voice brought her back to the present. “Renee?”
They were passing the Natural History Museum now, its grand pointy Victorian façade lit up in the night. The gilt details on the ornate railings surrounding the museum gleamed under the street lamps. On Renee’s other side—where Ket Siong had taken up position, with unfussy courtesy—the road was busy with traffic, cars grunting and roaring bad-temperedly along its length. An electric bus hummed as it heaved its bulk away from the stop.
There was something so familiar about this, strolling along a London street in the evening with Ket Siong by her side. He’d always insisted on walking her home if they were out after dark.
She glanced up at him. He looked a little anxious.
“You’re not a strange man,” said Renee gently. The connection they’d had, and the way it had ended, seemed both very close and far away.
At the time Renee had blamed herself for misreading the signs, overstepping the boundaries of their friendship. It was easier, then, than thinking ill of Ket Siong.
Looking back now, she felt a surge of compassion for both of them, Ket Siong as well as herself. Sure, he’d broken her heart, but girls were always falling for Ket Siong back then and he’d never known how to handle it. Why should she have been any different?
Shehadwondered over the years if he was gay and that was why things had gone wrong when she’d fallen for him. But she wasn’t wearing a blouse under her jacket, and there was something about the way Ket Siong’s eyes were carefully avoiding her neckline that made her think that wasn’t it.
Was he with anyone now? It seemed impossible he could be single. As far as Renee could tell, he hadn’t changed in the past ten years, except to grow into himself.
As a boy, he had been coltish and beautiful. As a man… well. He’d broadened out surprisingly, but what made him so attractive was something more than that—a quiet confidence in the way he moved in the world, free of swagger. A certainty of his own power that made his gentleness all the more compelling.
Ket Siong raised his eyebrows. She was staring. Renee looked away, heat rising in her cheeks.
Let’s not make a fool of yourselfagain, Renee.
“But Uncle Low doesn’t know that,” she continued. “Best to be careful.”
“Is he close to your family?”
“Not really,” said Renee. “But the business community back home is pretty small. Everyone knows everyone. You know how it is. I have to keep my nose clean. No salacious rumours about me picking up men at galleries. There’s a lot going on with my family right now.”
She laughed, though the back of her neck prickled with an unpleasant sense of exposure. Talking about her family was like picking at a fresh scab. The old tangle of ugly feeling knotted in her stomach, anxiety and resentment and self-loathing twisting together.
Ket Siong said, “Yes?”
An invitation to elaborate, if she wanted to, but not a demand.
Renee hesitated, but Ket Siong knew what her family was like. She used to tell him everything. Even if their friendship was a thing of the past, she knew she could trust him to keep her secrets.
“I can tell you about it once we’re settled somewhere,” she said.
Worry carved lines into Ket Siong’s forehead, but he didn’t say anything. Only nodded.
In one regard, Ket Siong hadn’t changed. For all his quietness, he was so much morepresentthan anyone else. When his intent gaze rested on you, you felt like you were the only person in the world.
But he was like that with everyone, Renee reminded herself. It was just how he was. If only she had realised that back then, she could have saved herself some considerable heartache.
And yet, would it have helped? It wasn’t like she’d fallen for Ket Siong because she thought he liked her back. She’d loved him because he wasn’t like anyone else she knew.
It was a good thing Renee had long since decided there were better things for her than love. Better, not because they were more important, but because they were attainable. What had happened that morning with Jason had confirmed that fact.
Perhaps this time she could be the friend Ket Siong wanted, and no more. It wasn’t like he’d ever demanded anything of her. He was the only person she’d ever loved of whom this was true. It was the greatest gift he’d given her—and the worst blow he’d dealt.
