Page 141 of Captivated
“No one knows, apart from Robert, Toby, Teague, and Sol. They’re waiting to see what you think of the idea.” Dad tilted his head to one side. “So what do I tell them?”
“You… you’re really okay with this?”
Dad’s smile was tinged with sadness. “I’ll miss you, of course. Life won’t be the same without you. But it feels like the right time.” He gave Nate an earnest glance. “You don’t have to go along with any of it. It isyourchoice. But we need to think about what’s best for you. For your future happiness.” His face tightened. “Lord knows, you’re overdue some of that.”
Nate flung his arms around his dad and hugged him, warmth radiating through him. “Thank you,” he whispered.
Dad’s arms enfolded him. “He’d better treat you right, or he’ll have me to deal with.”
Nate chuckled, Dad’s cheek rough against his. Then he pulled back and looked Dad in the eye. “Aren’t you jumping the gun a bit?”
“A man can hope, can’t he?” Dad ruffled Nate’s hair. “You just need to give it a chance, see what develops.”
“And what about you?”
Dad frowned. “What about me?” He rolled his eyes. “I can take care of myself, you know. I’ve been living alone for almost as long as you’ve been alive.”
“That’s my point. Maybe it’s time youweren’talone. You’re only fifty. There’s plenty of time for you to find someone.” Nate gazed at the face he’d grown to love. “And if you get a second chance, take it, and don’t let go of it this time.”
“I think that chance has already passed me by.” Dad smiled. “But thanks for giving me permission.” He leaned back. “So… I’ll call Robert to tell him you love the idea. He’ll want to know when you’ll be there. What should I tell him? When do you want to move?”
Nate grinned. “How long do you think it will take to pack up everything in my room?”
Dad smirked. “Considering how minimalistic it is? Maybe ten minutes.” He laughed. “You could be done before bedtime.”
There was a drumming in Nate’s chest, and if he put words to it, he knew exactly what they’d be.
I’m going to Zeeb.
I’m going to Zeeb.
I’m going to Zeeb.
August 12, 2024
Dad peered into the trunk. “I don’t think you could fit another thing in here.” He closed it, then opened the rear door to stare at the boxes on the seats, the bags stuffed into every crevice. “This can’t be all your stuff. Where were you hiding all this?”
“I packed all my clothes, my artist equipment, my books…” He gave Dad an apologetic smile. “I packed everything I thought I’d need.”
Dad closed the door. “I’ll see you at the end of the month. I’ve already booked my stay. You should be fairly settled by then.” He seized Nate in a tight hug. “Drive safe. Text me when you get there.” He kissed the top of Nate’s head. “Love you.”
“Love you too. I’ll stay in touch.”
Dad smiled. “I won’t worry about you if you don’t. Well, not too much.” He chuckled. “Lord, what I wouldn’t give to be a fly on the wall when Zeeb sees you.”
Nate was hoping to see the same elation he’d been experiencing ever since he’d made the decision to leave.
Dad cupped Nate’s chin. “Be prepared. This might not be as easy as you think.”
“Who says that’s what I think?” Nate let out a sigh. “I’ve done my best to put the horrors of the camp behind me, but that still leaves me mistrusting my feelings, my desires. Dr. Lacey helped rewire my reactions, but progress has been kind of one step forward, then backslide, then forward again.” He tapped a finger against his temple. “In here, I’ve moved on. How mybodyreacts in new situations? That’s something else.”
Dad placed his hands on Nate’s shoulders. “If I could give you only one thought to bear in mind as you start this new journey, it would be this.” He smiled. “It’s okay to want someone. I know intimacy scares you, but it shouldn’t. Attractionisn’tdeviant—it’s beautiful. And your desires aren’turges to be resisted. They’re expressions of connection, joy—love.”
Nate’s throat tightened. “That’s a good thought.”
He’d already imagined what he’d say to Zeeb, should the moment arrive.
I want you. Not because I’m broken, or healing, or proving something. I just want you. And that’s okay.
