Page 115 of Captivated
Nate reached for the cup and took a sip. “This is going to sound weird.”
“Why not let me be the judge of that?” Sol gave another smile. “Not that I ever do much of that. Judging, I mean.”
Nate drank a little more, then launched into a repeat of everything he’d told Dad earlier. When he was done, he gave Sol an expectant glance. “Does any of that make sense to you?”
“Tell me as much as you can about the therapy you’ve experienced so far.”
Relief swamped him.
He doesn’t want to talk about what went on at the camp.
For the next ten minutes, Nate relayed as much information as he could, including his feeling that the therapy had somehow stalled, and Dad’s suggestion of equine therapy. Sol listened, taking notes, nodding here and there but without commenting.
“It feels as if I’ve finally made a breakthrough, but part of me needs to know what brought it about.” He gazed earnestly at Sol. “I know that doesn’t make sense but I can’t get away from it.”
Sol tapped his pen on the desk. “To start with, you have to realize healing is a complex, non-linear process. Because you’re correct. Salvation hasn’t provided some sudden cure. Interacting with the horses has helped you gain insights into your own emotional state, I have no doubt about that, but while it does offer some unique benefits—and yes, ithasbeen transformative in some cases—it isn’t a standalone solution.”
Nate let out a heartfelt sigh. “Then what’s going on?”
Sol smiled. “Myfeeling is, what you’re seeing is a lot of different elements intertwining to create a moment of significant progress in your recovery.”
“What elements?”
Sol put the pen down and leaned forward, his hands around his cup.
“Don’t undervalue your years of therapy. They’ve helped you develop coping mechanisms and given you a foundational understanding of your trauma. They might even have prepared you to engage in the equine therapy. So your time here could be seen as a culmination of all the hard work you’ve already put in.” Another smile. “You’ve been on a long-term therapeutic journey, and you’re now in sight of your destination.” Sol tilted his head to one side. “Does that make sense?”
Nate nodded slowly. “Yeah. I guess you’re right. But what about these other elements? What are they?”
“Believe it or not, it could also be down to something as simple as timing. Sometimes, breakthroughs happen when anindividual reaches a point of readiness, often influenced by life circumstances.” He studied Nate. “Maybe the cost of carrying your trauma became too great, prompting a desire for change, an internal shift, if you like.”
Nate’s breathing hitched.Oh my God.
Sol gave him a thoughtful glance. “I think I just struck a nerve.”
“I’d been here a week. And one morning I stood on the porch, staring out at the creek, and I felt so freaking tired of it all. Tired of letting the past define me. I told myself something had to change. And that I was the only one who could bring that change about.”
Sol beamed. “You see? Timing. Emotionally, you were ready.” He put down his cup and folded his arms. “There’s one more element you need to consider.”
“What’s that?
Sol locked gazes with him. “The impact of your relationship with Zeeb.”
“My…” Nate swallowed. “My relationship?”
He nodded. “You’ve formed a connection with Zeeb. You introduced a new dynamic, if you like. Don’t dismiss the importance of a trusting human relationship. It can be instrumental in trauma recovery.” He didn’t break eye contact. “Zeeb’s consistent presence and support may have nurtured an environment where you felt secure enough to confront and process deeply held emotions. In layman’s terms… Zeeb made you feel safe.”
What came to mind was waking to find Zeeb’s arm around him, cocooned in warmth and safety.
Nate’s cheeks burned. “There’s something I need to tell you. Zeeb’s spent the last three nights at my cabin.”
“I know.”
Of course he knows. Butch would’ve mentioned it.
“Fine, but what you don’t know iswherehe’s been sleeping.”
Sol clasped his hands on the desk. “In your bed?”
