Page 21 of Trust Again
Dad reached across the table for my hand. “It’s okay to be mad, honey. Or sad. Both are understandable.”
Closing my eyes, I nodded. It took all my strength not to pick up my plate and throw it at the wall. I needed to break something. Vent my anger, so I wouldn’t explode.
Nate had the gall to buy the Maynard House?
The house he and I used to dream about when we were younger. With the garden that we’d sneak into, so we could look over the veranda into the living room. The house with the white façade, dark green tiled roof, wooden shutters and high ceilings decorated with stucco finishing. Our shared dream of a future that would never be.
I gripped my glass of iced tea until my knuckles turned white. After taking a long sip, I looked up at Dad again, with a fake but hopefully convincing smile.
“Thanks for telling me, Dad. I’m happy for Nate.”
I’d never had the heart to tell Dad the real reason for our breakup. Dad could be opinionated, and after mom left him, he hadn’t let many people get close to him—friends included. But the Duffys had been part of his social circle for more than a decade. That’s why I made up the story about Nate and me parting on good terms. Besides, I didn’t want Dad to worry about me. He had enough on his plate, and I just wanted to be the strong woman he’d raised me to be.
All Dad knew was that the separation was hard, like most breakups. But he also believed my explanation that we were just too young for such a serious relationship; that living together wouldn’t have worked either; that we wanted to end it on friendly terms before one of us got hurt beyond repair. Just like with him and mom.
All bullshit.
I spent the rest of our afternoon in zombie mode, barely registering anything Dad told me, responding to his questions as cheerily as possible, but with few words. I plastered a big smile on my face as we said goodbye and hugged him tightly.
Numb, I trudged home slowly. As it began to drizzle, I stopped for a moment and looked up at the sky. Tiny needles of rain hit my face.
An hour later I finally reached the dorm and went straight to my room, oblivious to everyone and everything around me.
I flopped face down on my bed. Sawyer asked me something, but I didn’t want to hear or explain anything. So I pulled my blanket over my head and turned my face to the wall.
Gradually Dad’s words came back to me. The deeper I let them penetrate, the more it hurt. My body felt heavy, full of grief.
Nate had boughtourhouse. For the girl he’d been cheating with for months.
By now, I shouldn’t care, but I couldn’t help it. Not after six years together. Not after being hurt so badly. Finding Nate in our bedroom on top of Rebecca was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. The pain tore me apart. It had robbed me of my confidence. The pain was… I couldn’t even describe it.
Just thinking about it paralyzed me. I curled into a ball, closing my eyes tightly so as not to cry over Nate. He didn’t deserve my tears. My tears for Nathaniel Duffy had been used up. That’s why I’d moved to Woodshill. To let go. Build a new future. And I’d vowed not to shed a single tear over him.
Now he’d bought the Maynard House.
He just kept on going as if nothing had happened. As if I’d never been part of his life.
He was living our dream but not with me.
I didn’t love Nate anymore. Not for quite some time now. It was actually amazing how quickly that feeling dried up after he showed me what kind of person he really was. But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt to see him move on as if we’d never been together.
At some point Sawyer’s voice pierced my swirling thoughts: I heard footsteps approach.
“Dawn?”
I turned and peered out with one eye from under my blanket. Allie was squatting in front of my bed. I scooted closer to the wall and lifted the blanket so she could slide in. A moment later we were both in my cave.
We looked at each other. My throat was tight.
“Nate bought our house,” I whispered. “I guess he’s going to get a Maltese now and call him Cupcake.”
“That asshole.”
I nodded and practically banged my head against hers. “That’s an understatement.” Trying to calm myself, I rubbed at the knot of despair in my chest.
Allie lifted her hand and stroked my arm. There was no pity in her eyes, just understanding. “Maybe that’s why Nate was trying to reach you? To tell you about it?”
I snorted. “I can not believe he actually bought our house.”
