Page 92 of Begin Again
“You’ve bowled me over. I never wanted to let anyone get close to me but you managed it anyway. You drive me nuts with your endless talking, and sometimes I’d like to tape your mouth shut.” He shoved a hand through his hair. “I’m not a nice guy, and I don’t want to get you involved in my shit because I know you have enough problems of your own… but goddammit, Allie,” he blurted out. “I need you.”
He placed his hand on my check, and I noticed how he was trying to hold back. His thumb stroked my skin, a touch that I felt in my whole body. He took a deep breath. “I am totally crazy about you.”
“But you told your mother… ” My voice faltered.
“What else could I have said to her? Even I didn’t know what’s happening with us,” he whispered. “You don’t know my mom. She would never have let go. But to think that I don’t want you because of your past… Allie, that’s ridiculous. I admire your courage, your strength, and your confidence in me.”
“But you couldn’t even look at me,” I said, confused.
“Because I was afraid I’d lose control. You have no idea how hard it has been for me not to go to you the last few nights. I wanted you so much.” Kaden looked at me now with hunger in his eyes. “And I’m glad to be the one who keeps you together when you fall apart.”
“You’re joking,” I stammered.
“I’m a jerk, and I don’t think there’s any hope for me. But I’d love to be the jerk who’s there for you.”
Well, this talk had gone in a different direction from what I expected. I was prepared for a Kaden who was closed and unapproachable, but now he was standing here saying all these things that made my heart beat faster, faster, faster.
“How am I supposed to know you won’t wake up tomorrow and feel different? What about your rules?” I said, my voice hoarse.
Kaden leaned down and brushed my cheeks with his lips.
“Fuck the rules, Allie,” he whispered. “They were doomed to fail the moment I saw you.”
