Page 89 of Begin Again
But of course I did.
Monica, Ethan, Spencer, and Kaden had just come in. I wanted to look away and pretend I hadn’t seen them, but Monica had already spotted us and was making her way straight to the back.
“Should we leave?” Dawn asked, but I shook my head.
“We live together anyway. So hanging out here won’t make a big difference,” I mumbled, chewing on the end of my straw.
“Hey you two—how are you? Have a good break?” Monica asked, as she reached our cozy table with the guys in tow.
“We’re fantastic,” Dawn said, staring at Kaden. He seemed not to notice. For a split second he glanced at my cleavage, then looked away.
“Yes, we’re terrific,” I agreed with my friend, and we both let loose a giggle.
Ethan eyed the full glasses in front of us on the table. “Is this your second round?”
“No, we just ate a ton of chocolate,” Dawn said, proudly.
Spencer sat down unbidden on the stool next to her. Her cheeks flushed.
Monica perched on the stool on the other side of Dawn, and Ethan sat across from her. So Kaden had no choice but to sit next to me. Great. He hesitated as if undecided. I made it easy, getting up without even looking his way.
“I’m going to dance,” I announced and disappeared toward the dance floor.
I left the drink on the table. Alcohol wasn’t my thing tonight. I just couldn’t. Nor could I be in Kaden’s presence and act like nothing had happened. Especially now that I’d admitted I felt something for him. Distance was what I needed. Now. But unfortunately that wasn’t so easy, if you lived with someone. And had the same friends. We’d all become pretty close, and there was no way I wanted to mess it up.
Instead of going to dance, I sat on the opposite end of the bar, where the others couldn’t see me. I ordered a water and stirred it with my straw, listless. I let two bad songs go by one after the other, and put off a couple of guys who tried to engage me in chitchat.
After a while, Spencer appeared at my side. “Allie?” He leaned against the counter next to my swivel chair.
“Hey,” I said, forcing a smile and sipping my water like hard liquor.
“What’s up?” he asked. When I didn’t answer, he continued: “Come on, Allie. I’m not blind. Kaden’s feeling crappy and so are you. Something happened.”
“Then go ask him,” I hissed, immediately regretting my tone. I shook my head. “I’m sorry. It’s not your fault.”
He gave me a half-grin. “No worries. Do you want to talk about it?”
I shook my head again.
“Okay,” Spencer said. “Then I’ll talk. Since you moved in with him, Kaden’s changed. I’ve never seen him so relaxed, and I’ve known him a long time.”
“That has nothing to do with me,” I murmured.
“Oh yes it does, and you know it, too,” he countered. “It was just a question of time with you two.”
“I-”
“No,” he interrupted. His gaze was penetrating. “Listen, Allie. Kaden went through a lot of shit and needs more time before he can let someone get close to him. You’ve come pretty far already. I’m not going to sit by this time and watch him destroy the only thing that makes him happy.”
He held out his hand. Confused, I stared at him.
“Either you’re coming with me now or I’m telling everyone I know that you cried at the sight of a pizza.” I knew Spencer meant it. Not just about the pizza story, but also when he said he wouldn’t let Kaden get out of this one.
And to be honest, I also wanted things between me and Kaden to be okay. Only I didn’t have the foggiest idea how to fix things.
I pushed the water aside and put my hand in Spencer’s; he led me to the dance floor with a meaningful gaze. In the middle of the space he stood still, threw his arm around my waist and pulled me close.
“What the hell?” I pushed my hands against his chest, trying to get away.
