Page 59 of Begin Again
Jared Leto distracted me with his own cries of pain. I’d turned up my car stereo, almost full blast.
Without thinking about where I was heading, I found myself at the edge of town. I hadn’t taken this route alone yet, but something in my subconscious mind seemed to have led me here—where I could feel freedom with my whole body.
A trail of dust followed my car as I drove to the deserted parking area at the foot of Mount Wilson. I wondered if I should hike all the way to the top. Yes. Yes, I should. Without giving it much thought, I decided to take my phone along.
I walked to the first fork, the route Kaden and I had taken last time. Though I wasn’t wearing my hiking shoes, my leather boots seemed to do the trick. I dug my feet hard into the muddy earth.
Maybe this would help me get rid of my anger. And the pain that raged deep inside me when I thought about Thanksgiving break.
No idea how long I walked. At some point, after I’d taken many turns and couldn’t make out a trodden path anymore, I took a break. The air had become cool.
Rested, I kept going. The waterfall must be somewhere to my right, it just had to be.
By the time I took my next break half an hour later, it was already pretty dark under the trees. Were those the eyes of animals reflecting back to me from the tangled brush? The fog was thickening.
I looked around, discouraged. My goal had been to hike up to the top of the mountain, to reclaim that feeling of freedom. I wanted to shout my frustration to the world, where no one would hear me. But now here I was, up to my ankles in mud.
Now, which direction had I come from? There was no way to tell. Nothing but leaves. Tree trunks. Thick brush. Everything looked the same in every direction.
The exercise was pointless.
My own tracks weren’t even visible. Now I thought of Kaden’s advice.
Less talking, more walking.
I let loose a scream, and it felt so good to release the pent-up energy, that I did it again.
It was all his fault!
I pulled my cell phone out of my pants pocket. Cursing myself for doing it, I scrolled through my contacts looking for Kaden’s number. If anyone knew how I could get out of here, he would. My lips pressed together, I held the phone to my ear and heard it ring.
The answering machine came on. I tried again, but he still didn’t pick up.
Terrific.
Good. Since Kaden wouldn’t be able to help me out of this mess, I opened the map app. But there was no connection to the Internet. Of course.
Frustrated, I stuffed the phone back in my pocket and kept going. At some point I would find my way out of here.
I started to hum. The noises around me were getting weirder. I hummed louder.
After a while, I couldn’t keep up the calm exterior. My pulse was racing, my breath fast and irregular. I was cold. I was covered in mud. And I was scared.
I was also on the verge of a nervous breakdown when my phone began to vibrate against my thigh. I pulled it out of my pocket so fast that I nearly dropped it.
“It’s about time!” I cried into the phone.
“What’s up?” asked Kaden.
“I’m lost,” I said much too fast. It felt like an eternity since I’d heard a human voice. “I was feeling shitty, I wanted to go home, and then… somehow I ended up at the mountain and wanted to take the same path that we always take, and now I don’t know where I am, everything looks the same, and I don’t know where my car is. It’s getting darker, and there are wild animals, Kaden, I don’t want them to think that I’m their dinner—”
“Allie,” he interrupted me. “Take a deep breath.”
“Sorry,” I murmured, and inhaled.
“Where did you go?” asked Kaden.
“First I followed the main trail,” I started again, this time slower. “And then I reached the fork where you always turn. The one that leads to our lookout platform.”
