Page 116 of Begin Again
“I should have questioned his story even more.”
“Kaden—”
“You worked so hard to be free, Allie. How could I do this to you? Every time you’d look at me, you’d seehim.”
I slid from the sofa right into his lap. His arms stiffened. He was like stone.
“None of that is your fault, Kaden,” I said again, reaching my arms around him and holding him close.
“How can you say that?”
I leaned back to look deep into his eyes. It was important that he understand every word.
“Because I know you. I can’t say how you were in the past, and how I would have felt if Kendra were my friend. But I know the man you have become. And there’s nothing bad about him. The man I know would walk through fire for his friends. He would fly thousands of miles, leaving his family on a holiday, to be with his girlfriend when she needs him. Yes, I know you, Kaden. And I’d never hold you responsible for what happened.”
He closed his eyes. And then wrapped me in his arms and pressed me close. His shoulders were shaking, and he buried his face in my shoulder. Caressing his back, I murmured comforting words against his temple. I held him tightly and tried to drive out the demons of the past, the way he had for me.
Somehow we ended up lying on the floor. Kaden’s arms were still around me, his face pressed against my neck. But he’d stopped shuddering, and his breathing had calmed.
“You’re the best.”
I lifted my head a bit. “Hm?”
“That time in the hotel, when we agreed on a compromise, I told you that it was the second-best deal I’d ever made.”
He pulled away from me and sat up. His face was flushed, but he wasn’t as desperate as before. He seemed almost relieved, as if a huge load had been lifted from his shoulders.
“The best thing I ever did was take you into my apartment, Bubbles.” He brushed a strand of hair from my face.
“And yet you threw me out,” I reminded him, while trying not to sound reproachful. After what he’d just confided in me, how could I be angry at him? To see him suffer—it had almost broken my heart again.
“And that was my biggest mistake.”
“I fully agree, Mr. White.”
“I’m sorry I hurt you so much and destroyed our relationship, Bubbles. I…” He looked at me, determined. “I’m going to fix it. So we’re both on firm ground again.”
I returned his gaze, but with a little less confidence.
Things had changed. Now I knew that the reason for Kaden’s behavior lay with his past and not with me. Kaden would obviously need time to work this out. And it wouldn’t be easy for either of us. Who knew better than me what kind of strength that process required?
But this was about Kaden—the guy I’d fallen head over heels in love with. If he couldn’t do it alone, then I would dig deep into my reserves to help him. We would make it.
“We’re not totally destroyed, Kaden. Just give me a little time,” I whispered.
Kaden’s smile was worth everything. Simply everything.
“Okay. And in the meantime I’ll do my best to make you smile again.”
