Page 109 of Begin Again
Chapter 33
Stressful would be an understatement. While back in class full time, I somehow managed to squeeze in one apartment visit after another. But the distraction did me good. Turns out, finding an acceptable apartment in the middle of a semester was easier than at the beginning of the semester. Maybe some students realized they weren’t college material. Either way, most of the viewings went okay.
Kaden and I had only one shared class. Film and TV. I’d considered dropping out and taking it next semester. But no. Why should I hide just because he thought he couldn’t be with me?
Instead, I just avoided Kaden, and pretended he didn’t exist.
Today’s classroom assignment was to place films and people in different production categories and periods. We were supposed to come to the front of the room and stick our little notes with names and titles in the correct columns on the whiteboard. I reached for a magnet to put my first note on the board when I felt someone standing behind me. It had to be Kaden. His arm pushed past me and over my shoulder, as he stuck a note on the board.
I froze.
“Can we talk?” Kaden’s breath brushed my ear, he was standing so close.
I wanted to turn and go back to my seat, but Kaden held me by the elbow. It was all I could do not to look at him. Instead of lifting my eyes, I stared at his hand on my arm. My pulse was so fast, I was dizzy.
It can’t work. I can never be with someone like you;his words rang in my head.
Without looking him in the eyes, I removed his hand from my arm. I returned to my seat and, heart pounding, began to copy the notes from the board. Kaden turned and left the room.
After our last class of the day, Scott and I sat in the campus café waiting for Dawn to get out of class. Both of them wanted to come along to one last apartment viewing today. What would I have done without them?
Lattes in hand, Scott and I navigated our way up the creaky wooden steps of the café. All the window seats upstairs were taken, but we found a little table in the middle of the room.
We hadn’t even sat down when Scott asked: “How was Film and TV?”
I sighed. Actually, I wanted to forget about the encounter with Kaden, but somehow Scott had a nose for news. “He actually spoke to me. He asked if we could talk.”
“And? Can you?” Scott asked, with raised eyebrows.
“Probably not.”
“Maybe he has something important to tell you.”
“Like what? That I left my tampons in the bathroom?” I asked a bit too loud; the girls at the next table stopped talking and stared at us, annoyed.
“Allie?”
I turned and saw Monica heading our way, with Spencer and Ethan in tow. By now Spencer’s eye had healed.
“Hey,” I heard myself say.
“Can we join you?” Monica asked hesitantly.
As if I could say no. I nodded and forced a smile.
“How are you?” Monica asked.
“Good.” Three pairs of eyebrows went up. “Okay, I guess,” I added, because at least that was kind of true by now.
“Kaden’s not doing so great,” Monica blurted out.
Ethan groaned. “Baby, I don’t think—”
Scott interrupted him. “Good. He doesn’t deserve anything better,” he said, with a polite smile.
Monica glared at him, irritated.
“Kaden can’t let anyone get to him, and you know it, Allie. And if he tries, he panics the next moment and pushes you away again. He’s done it with all of us. Right, guys?” She looked at Spencer and Ethan, who were sitting next to her.
