Page 11 of Seven+Four
Uri’s tongue moves again against my skin, I can feel the coldness of the barbell piercing rubbing there. It starts a tingling sensation from my palm up the whole length of my arm. It’s always like this with him. He crosses over the boundaries of our relationship, though remaining firmly near the edge. Like an unmovable force. A permanent fixture in my life. Constant. Immutable.
But something did change—for me—and I can’t go on like this. I can’t stop feeling hurt by his unwillingness to confide in me. I could ask about his biological brother again, but Uri’s tense frame and deepening frown every time I mention it does not speak of a person who wants to talk.
He’s caging me against the wall. The January air is cold around us, but his body radiates all the heat I need. His sandalwood scent fills my lungs, replacing the urban winter mix of exhaust fumes, coffee, and wet asphalt.
I’ve always liked our height difference. Gazing up at him allows me to see the slender line of his throat, the contrast of his large shoulders to his trim waist, the lines of his high cheekbones, the curve of his succulent lips, the way his hairline frames his forehead, and how his ears stick out slightly. From down here,Uri looks like a Greek god, kissed by the sun, filled with vigor and vitality.
He finally pushes my hand away from his mouth but keeps his hold on it, pressing it to the wall. Palm to palm. Scar to scar. His fingers are long and strong around mine.
“Baby Blue.” He only calls me that when we are alone. The nickname has always made me cave in the past—and he knows it. It reminds me of that day many years ago, the first time I saw him, standing in a field of Baby Blue Eyes wildflowers.
“Who. The fuck. Is that colleague?” Uri’s demand shakes the haziness off me.
I won’t bend to him. I don’t want to. “Stop sticking your nose in my life, Uri!”
He pushes his hard body against mine in response. I can feel his torso rising and falling, his heart beating over mine. If he moves one more inch his groin would touch my belly. I close my eyes and let the inappropriate thoughts form as I start panting. His hand tightens around mine, and the slight sting makes me want to purr like an eager cat.More. My head is screaming to stop, but my body won’t listen to it. Every cell is awakened, waiting. Craving.
“That will never happen,” he growls; I feel the rumble of his voice penetrating my skin and reaching down to my bones.
I open my eyes when I feel his breath over my cheek. He’s so close now. A part of me called inner hopeless dumbass still hopes he’ll lower his head and kiss me. His nostrils are flaring, burning gaze studying me. His beard is just barely long enough to be called one, but I wonder how it would feel against my skin.
When nothing happens after a minute, I swallow the bitter disappointment once again and turn my head to the right, avoiding his dark, piercing gaze.
“What do you want from me?” I whisper. Why does he keep doing this to me?
“You still don’t know?” The piercing rises with his eyebrow.
I grit my teeth. “Know? You are the one who kept me in the dark about everything. Don’t you trust me?”
“You didn’t need to know. It was for your own protection.”
Didn’t need to know?“I’m not weak. I’m not your defenseless little brother anymore!” I clip.
“Brother?” His bitter laugh sounds even more menacing accompanied by the wicked intentions I think I see glimmering in those deep eyes. His hand leaves the wall, and I tremble all over fantasizing about the feeling of it around my neck. But I’m wrong. His fingers land on the zipper of my white cashmere sweater, starting to drag it up.
Such a small thing, such a Uri thing to do. Always so attentive toward me, it usually makes me smile. I swallow my one-sided desire and let my head touch the wall behind me as I try to stop the roaring thoughts inside it. Sometimes I wish he could actually read them just to put a solid end to this unrequited love. He could shift through them, find the root, and eradicate it all, because I sure as hell can’t.
“It seems I’ve been too lenient with you.”
The heaviness of his gaze, that one hundred percent intensity he focuses on me is unnerving on top of exciting right now. It takes a moment, a long one, for me to focus on his words rather thanthe large, firm lips producing them. My brain gets all slow and weird when he is too close to me.
I frown at his following statement, feeling a sting between my eyes. “Trying to push me away is futile, Baby Blue.”
His controlling behavior and overprotectiveness are clear sociopathic traits. They aren’t brought out by love or affection. I’m one of his precious possessions, like his guns or his chain of restaurants. As soon as I start moving away, he shows this over-the-top annoyance—only because it’s my decision, my doing. Not his. He does what he wants while I have to remain nearby where he can keep an eye on me and I can follow his demands.
It all started because of what I went through as a kid. After Linda and Meg saved me, I used to feel as if I was just drifting through life without actually being an active participant in it. I was too scared, too fragile and hopeless to keep going. Uri’s strong will pulled me out of the drowning waters and took charge. He made me feel like I belonged—with him. I was grateful as I slowly found my way with him by my side. Developing passionate feelings toward him was something I’d never envisioned, but it was the most easily foreseen result.
After years of waiting in vain for him to see me as more, though, I finally found the strength to move on. I can’t keep wishing for something that’ll never happen. But it’s impossible to move forward if he keeps pulling me back in.
“Uri, you need to let go. Please.”Let me go,I almost beg him.
His jaw ticks, and for a moment, I almost convince myself it’s raw desire interlaced with undiluted fury filling his eyes.
Before taking me back inside the diner, he leans even closer. So close his face turns blurry and one of his dreads brushes mycheek. His intoxicating scent invades my lungs, his warm breath bathes my lips as he utters darkly, “Nobody will take you away from me. Not even yourself. Just accept it, Baby Blue.”
Sudden heat explodes inside my gut, rushing further down, even though his words have never sounded more ominous to me. Or maybe because of that.
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