Page 57 of Hyde and Seek
I was surprised by how vehemently opposed to the idea he was. “Just, you know, out of curiosity, why not Rhys?”
“I’m dirty but compared to him I’m clean as you, Piper. All I could think about was what it would be like seein’ you together. I’d either lose a brother, or I’d have to see you and know how shit was between you.”
“So,” I started slowly, my voice deceptively calm. “In the planning of my life, have you thought about what I want? Or who I’d want and how I’d like it? Just because I’m inexperienced doesn’t mean I don’t know things.” I gestured to my laptop. “One look at my internet history would clear that up.” I knew I was blushing but I didn’t care.
I’m a woman, damn it! I need to get rid of my innocence, in more ways than one.
“I grew up sheltered and didn’t go through the typical rebellion when I was young and stupid. Now I’m old enough to know better than to jump into bed with someone just to say I’ve done it. I know what I want. I wanted you and that was my choice to make not yours, Mister… Bossy Pants!”
Okay, so my smack talk needs work. Moving on.
“If you don’t want to go there with me, that’s your decision. But don’t try to take away my choice by telling me I can’t want you. Or what I should want.”
“You wanted me?” Jake asked quietly.
“Well, me and probably half the city of Boston, yeah.”
“You said wanted. Are those feelings in the past?”
“I wished they were, but no.”
“I really thought I was doin’ the right thing by lettin’ you go so you could be with someone better for you.”
I opened my mouth to argue but he interrupted.
Shocking.
“I was already feelin’ like I shouldn’t be havin’ these feelings about you. But when I discovered how innocent you really are—”
“You act like there’s something wrong with me, which, I gotta say, is killer for my ego.”
“I’m not—”
“My virginity isn’t something to be ashamed of.”
“I didn’t—”
“Yeah, I don’t have a ton of experience. And, thanks to you, what little I have now involves you being an asshole.”
“I’m s—”
“And, honestly, that whole situation was beyond fucked up. You didn’t want to have sex? Fine, but be cool about it. You wanted to slow down, talk, hammer out the details? Also fine. But what you did? Fucked up, Jake, seriously.” I slammed my juice down with enough force that some spilled. “I still don’t even know what your fuckin’ problem was!” I lifted my hands in exasperation, flinging the crumbs off my napkin.
“If you’d stop interruptin’—”
“Now you know how it feels,” I snapped, my eyes narrowing as I glared at him.
“And stop throwin’ your breakfast at me,” he continued as he used his napkin to wipe off. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled that night and I’m a dick for that. Truth? I was pissed at myself, not you. There’s not a thing wrong with you bein’ a virgin. I just felt like it confirmed that I was a dirty old man who had no business makin’ you dirty too.”
“Sex isn’t dirty.”
I lost my breath as his eyes darkened with a new intensity and his rough voice deepened. “It is the way I do it.”
Holy hotness. I don’t care what that means exactly, I just know I want it. Now.
“Especially what I wanted to do to you,” he added, making me sure I was about to pass out.
“Wanted? Are those feelings in the past?” I asked breathily, using his words.
