“You have all my love,mo ghrá álainn. Forever.”
39
Two months later
“Rori, are you okay? You’ve been in there all morning.”
Rori braced her arms on the sink counter, catching her breath. Her body shook with weakness. Her throat burned. Only when she knew she wouldn’t vomit again did she lower herself to her forearms, turn on the cold water, and rinse her face and mouth.
Cassy knocked again, this time with more force. “Rori, you’re scaring me. I’m about to have Cael break down the door if you don’t open?—”
Rori unlocked the door and pulled it open, halting Cassy mid-threat. Cassy’s eyes widened, her hands cupping Rori’s face.
“Dear God, honey. What’s wrong? Flu? Stomach bug? You know, it’s hit a bunch of the people at work.”
Cassy slid her arm around Rori’s shoulders and guided her to the guest room, where she’d been staying in Cael’s condo.
It had been two months since Thaddeus’s death, and eachday proved time didn’t heal for shit. She moved through each day, numb to everything. She went to work, came home, slept. Went to class—Shaye worked some magic at her school to keep her on track for graduation—tried to put forth an effort, had her instructors pull her aside to ask about her well-being. She could barely stomach food, forced herself to drink water. Brandon tried to spend time with her, but she would send him away.
Every time she saw Cael, it flayed open her wounds, those she knew would never heal. The sight of Thaddeus’s brother was a constant reminder of what she once had, the promises and happiness and love dangled in front of her only for it to be snatched way. They held too many similarities for her to ignore. Gazing upon Cael hurt.
And yet, here she was, curling beneath the blankets in a bed that belonged to him. They commiserated together at times. Thaddeus’s death left a gaping wound of its own in Cael. She’d never forget one of their first “talks” and seeing the hope in Cael’s face when he insisted the old Thaddeus was still alive.
And yes, he was, but it was too late to save him.
Cassy smoothed back her hair, her face scrunched with worry. “You have no color to your face.”
“I’m sick.”
“We need to get you better, Rori. Seriously. You’ve been really worrying me. Moira and Rihanna warned me what to look for, since you refused to stay at the castle so they could oversee your care.” Cassy sighed and shook her head. “I’m about to tell Cael to bring you back?—”
“No. I don’t want to go back.” Rori pulled the blanket up to her chin, tucking her face into the soft material. “I don’t want to be anywhere near that castle.”
“Rori, they did nothing wrong.”
“I know they did nothing wrong, Cassy. I don’t blame them for anything, but that place holds too many memories, both good and bad. I don’t want to be in a place where I spent my last moments with Thaddeus. I don’t want to be reminded constantly that he planned this self-sacrifice and carried through with it. I don’t want to be reminded that this fucking life is so fucking cruel that…I would be given the best possible man…only to have him taken…”
Rori sucked in a sharp breath, drawing her bottom lip between her teeth and biting hard. Her eyes burned with tears. Endless tears. She’d thought two months later, the well would have dried up, or at least the time between her crying jags would have lengthened. She rubbed her eyes with the blanket and released a shuddering sigh.
“I don’t want to walk around a fairytale world when my story ended like a Shakespearian play. Here. This is reality. This ismyreality. I’ll have my pinning ceremony in a week, I’ll take my NCLEX, find a job in a hospital, and somehow, someway, make do.”
Cassy sat on the edge of the bed in silence. Her dark eyes expressed her turmoil, the concern and sympathy, and a little guilt.
“I’m sorry, Cassy.”
“Stop apologizing. I’m here for you, however you need me. We’ll get through this, however long it takes. But you’ve not been well. You’ve lost weight, and honestly, you can’t afford to lose weight. You sleep every chance you get. I can’t even get you down to the beach for fresh air and some sun. I know you’re depressed. I know it’s bad, and you know it, too.”
Rori tucked deeper into the blanket. Her stomach tilted.
“Oh, God.”
Casting the blanket off, she bolted into the bathroom andmade it to the toilet just in time to unload another bout of bile into the bowl.
“She is wasting away and we’re helpless to stop it.”
The curtain of sleep fell away as she listened to the whispers beyond the bedroom door. Cassy and Brandon. Somehow, Cassy and Cael had filled Brandon in on what had happened, convincing him to believe in the impossible.
“If something doesn’t change, I’m scared her body will give up. I’ve been keeping track of everything she eats, and it’s barely enough to consider a meal a day. Then she’s vomiting half the day away. I can’t get fluid in her fast enough.”
