The Lord Under draws in a deep, slow breath as he considers my offer. He watches me with a gaze that is vast and endless and entirely inhuman. Did I expect him to look softer? To be sorry? There is none of that. Only a deep, endlesshunger.
Finally, he nods. “I will give you a spell to cast on Rowan that will work only once. Your full power will come on the next moon, and it will last until sunrise touches the shore on the following day. In exchange, you’ll forget your father and your mother. You’ll be without them, always. Alone even in death.”
“Yes. That’s my trade.”
He lifts a hand. “This will hurt. In more ways than one.”
Each piece of me cries out to undo this, to run, but there is nowhere for me to go. I am right where I need to be.
His claws scrape through the air above my face. My eyes are still open, but everything turns dark. Water rushes down the walls, and the room fills with mud, with black water, with shadows that I feel, sharp, inside my lungs. His darkness tastes the same as Arien’s magic. Salt and ash and smoke. Ithurts.
As the Lord Under’s shadows tear through me, he starts to whisper. “They will be gone, forever. And when the time comes, and Arien dies, he’ll be lost to you, too. Your soul will sleep alone in the world Below.”
A sob comes out of my mouth at his words, but I bite down on the sound, hold it back. I have to do this. Ichooseto do this.
His magic is cold, a steel-sharp swath that scrapes through my body. My heart. My bones. The inside of my skull. A swift, clean slice that severs everything.Alone forever, even in death.I see a single, final image: my father, the way he smiled as his magic filled the earth in our garden.
Then it’s gone.
It’s all gone.
Tears stain the corners of my eyes when I blink them open. In place of my memories there is only a blank space, a strange, hollow feeling. Like my hands were closed tenderly around some precious thing, and now I’ve found them empty. When I try to remember my family—the shape of their faces, their names—there’s an absence, and itaches.
My heart is pounding, and my breath comes in short, sharpgasps. “It still hurts. I’ve forgotten them. Why does it still hurt?”
The Lord Under touches his claws to his mouth. Swallows down my pain and my fear and my memories the way he once ate fruit and blood. “You’ve forgotten them, but the hurt won’t go—it won’t heal over.”
Another tremor shakes the room, and I go tense and still, straining to hear the sounds outside.
I need to go back, but first I need to be sure of my power. “We have our trade. Say it.”
“We have our trade. Hold out your hand.”
I quickly reach my hand toward him. He leans forward, until there’s almost no distance between us. The cold of his breath burns across my cheeks.
He traces his claws over my heartline.
Though I can’t feel his touch, the power hits me all at once. Sudden and all encompassing, like a wave that’s washed over me. It’s cold. It’s hot. My skin burns and turns to ice. The world evaporates into a heady rush of light and heat. I am magic. I am power. It’s all I tasted before in those fleeting glimpses.
But better, but worse, because now it ismine.
Light blooms at my palms, and the room is illuminated in crystalline brilliance. Power.Mypower. The power I’ll have on the next full moon. The Lord Under watches me, and the flare of magic dances in his pale eyes. For just one, ruinous moment, I wish he could touch me. I want to feel his cold, clawed hand on my cheek, on my hair.
I let the power burn through me. Let it burn away all thehelplessness and uncertainty in one last brilliant flare before it dims, settling back into the barest glimmer. I want to be safe at Lakesedge. I refuse to let the life I’ve found here be destroyed, not now. I won’t let it be taken from me. With this bargain I can finally protect everyone—and everything—that I care about.
“Thank you.”
“Thankyou.” His mouth curves into a hard, pleased smile. I’m not sure what pleases him most. My awe over the power or the hurt I’ve paid to gain it. I push away the thought. Stare at the light until my vision blurs and refuse to think of what it’s cost me.
“Now.” I shiver as aftershocks of the power flicker through my body. “Tell me what I need to do to save Rowan.”
“You will need a spell. Listen carefully. Blood. Salt. Iron. Silt. Mud.” He looks at my wrist, where the sigils are drawn. “Mark it on both of you. The same sigil. That will hold him until the full moon.”
“And the rest…?”
“Come to the lake for the ritual, as you did before. Your power will be enough to cast the spell.” He flexes his fingers open and closed, mimicking the gestures that I’ve seen Clover make when she draws out her magic.
“You will give me enough power to mend it. Alone.”
