She scoffed. “Nothing. Nothing he says. The happiest member of our clan looks murderous, and the man he has been fawning over looks close to tears, and he says nothing.” She jabbed a gnarled finger towards a table off to one side. “Go prepare the bread.”
I was grateful for the mindless task. I did it most mornings, taking the stool she had set out for me. It was a little harder to do it while sitting, but I made it work, and eventually lost myself in the task, my head clearing enough for me to think. They were words I’d heard before. I did not need to take them to heart.
It’s just… those words had never been said in front of my lover before. It was hard enough already being so soft compared to the rest of them. I knew I was fat. My exercise was kneading dough and moving around my shop. I was probably never going to be trim and muscled like Verus. I had accepted that, but I couldn’t bear Verus thinking of me that way. What if he was only telling me what I wanted to hear when we lay together the other night? I was not beautiful. I never would be.
A warm hand, tanned and wrinkled with age, stilled mine, pulling me away from the now over-kneaded dough. I sucked in a shaky breath, looking up at Yamileth with tears in my eyes.
“I’m sorry. I didn't mean to?—”
She shook her head, stalling me. “I’ve lost count over the years of the number of times I have taken my anger out on the dough. Sometimes it helps. Others, it doesn’t. But holding it all in will only make the hurt fester. So no more saying it’s nothing. What happened, young one?”
My bottom lip quivered, but she was right. I was too worked up to help, and I wouldn’t settle unless I spoke to someone about it. “Someone… Someone made comments about me that hurt me. I know better than to listen, I’ve heard those things all my life, but… Verus was there with me and—” I choked on a sob, dropping my gaze to my lap. “I don’t want him to think of me that way. It’s the truth, but I liked the way he thought of me, and I wanted it not to be a lie. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have overworked the dough. I promised I wouldn’t make more work for you.”
She hummed. “And what was it that they said that hurt you?”
Her voice sounded stern, and when I looked up at her, she looked almost as angry as Verus had been. She gripped my chin to stop me before I could shake my head more than once.
“None of this. What was said, Patrick?”
With a whimper, I murmured, “They called me a cow. They implied that it was beneath Verus to be with me.” I ducked my head when she released my chin, tears escaping and slipping over my cheeks. “I’ve heard it all before. I know I shouldn’t let it get to me. I just…” Wanted to be seen as more. I didn’t say that part out loud. It hurt too much. I’d wanted to be different my whole life, skinnier, better looking. More like someone worth loving. It would never happen. I needed to accept it and move on.
“Who said this?” Yamileth demanded, her tone incensed.
I didn’t want to tell her. Those men already didn’t like me. I didn’t want to cause more trouble for the clan by setting Yamileth against them. But when she threatened to take my job away and send me back to Verus’s tent to rest until I healed, I panicked and blurted out the name I knew. I wanted to be needed here. It was the only chance I had of being able to stay.
“One was called Tavik. I don’t know the other’s name,” I rushed out.
Yamileth made an irritated sound. “Saneth. Those two are inseparable.” Her hands gripped my face again, forcing me to look up at her. “You listen to me, Patrick. You are to pay those two no heed. You are better than them. And they will regret speaking to you in such a way. Put it from your mind and focus on your work. I will handle the rest.”
Eyes wide, I stared up at her. “What do you mean? I don’t want to cause trouble. The clan has done a lot for me and?—”
She silenced me with a dark look, squeezing my cheeks just rough enough to make me grimace without truly hurting me. “You are no trouble to us, Patrick. You are the only one I trust to help me with the cooking. You bring more to this clan than those two brutes ever will.”
The protest must have been clearly written across my face, because she sighed heavily. “I can promise to not bring it to Orthorr unless I absolutely must. Does this settle you?”
Not entirely, but I could see she wouldn’t be deterred. Whatever she had planned, it wouldn’t go farther than her. How much harm could an old woman truly do?
Thirteen
Rath must have sensed my mood during the hunt, because he did not tease me like usual. He settled onto a branch of the watching tree, speaking low to not startle the creatures of the forest.
“What happened?”
My scowl deepened, but I didn’t answer.
The silence stretched between us for a few moments. I wasn’t fully present in the hunt. My thoughts strayed constantly to the look on Patrick’s face, so full of pain and embarrassment. Tavik’s cruel words had hurt him, and if Patrick hadn’t asked me to take him to his work, I would have?—
“You are growling,” Rath pointed out calmly. “Speak now about what bothers you before it scares the entire forest.”
I shot him a dirty look. I was not so loud that I would be overheard.
Still, I did not answer him. I could handle Tavik on my own. I didn’t need help. I just needed to finish this hunt so I could track him down and hurt him like he hurt Patrick. He would wear his shame for hurting such a sweet man.
“Do you remember when my Finn arrived? He was being harassed but would not seek help. Not even from me. He drewout his suffering by doing this and there was nothing I could do to fix it because I did not have all the information. I asked for your help then, in seeking those who would hurt my bondmate. Why do you not trust me to help you the same way? Have I done something to strain our friendship?”
I grimaced. “No. It is not that. I don’t need help to find who hurt Patrick. I know who is responsible. I just didn’t have the chance to handle it. Patrick asked me to take him away. I cannot deny him what he wants.”
Rath hummed, his eyes constantly scanning the surrounding forest. “That is probably for the best. If he was with you, then getting him somewhere safe should be your first priority. Was his harasser alone?”
