Seven
After so many nights of waking up to nightmares, it was disconcerting when the dreams shifted. Gone was my father’s angry snarl, and in its place was Rath’s gentle touch and his steady patience. The way he touched me started innocently enough, his roughened hands from so many years of hunting running gently along my skin. I practically purred with pleasure, plastering myself against him as his hands skimmed down my back.
I was so deliriously happy, I almost didn’t register when his hands went lower. He cupped my behind, squeezing suggestively, and a moan escaped me. No one had ever touched me like that before. I liked it, wanted more, but I didn’t know how to ask. And the more anxious I got, the more the dream seemed to slip through my fingers. I fought against it, trying to keep the dream going, but I woke up a few moments later, my erection hard and arching and pressed up against Rath’s thigh.
Realization hit me like a bucket of cold water. My eyes flew open, and I spun around so quickly, if Rath hadn’t been awake, he was now. Facing the wall of the tent, I willed my erection to go away, but it refused to go. I was still in Rath’s arms, the scent of him still strong in my nose. It was fuel to the fire,and I felt my erection thicken even more at the reminder. I felt close to reaching completion just lying there next to him. The humiliation would be unbearable. He’d made me a few sets of clothes so I could change when they got dirty, but I didn't want to soil them with my seed. He’d notice. I could cry from embarrassment just thinking about it.
The embarrassment was what helped tamper my need. When Rath finally released me and sat up, I was afraid to face him, worried he’d noticed my problem, but he said nothing about it, waiting for me to follow him outside to relieve ourselves. We took turns, Rath still giving me privacy to do my business, and he offered me his hand on the way back. I took it because it brought me comfort, despite my embarrassing reaction that morning. And it always seemed to make him smile when I touched him. Like it meant as much to him as it did to me.
We stayed in the tent that morning, though I wasn’t entirely sure why. He seemed happy to bring me out the day before. Meeting his horse had been lovely, and I kind of hoped he’d take me to see the animal again that morning, but Rath seemed content to stay in the tent with me. I heard noises outside, but Rath didn’t react to them, so it wasn’t anything unusual, I guess.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. He was back to carving, though he still hadn’t told me what he was making yet. It was circular, probably about the size of my palm, but that was all the detail I could get.
Forming the sentence in my head first so I could say it properly, I asked, “What’s the noise?”
He tipped his head, listening, before responding. “Preparation. We celebrate new birth tonight. And introduce you to the clan.”
My stomach sank. Zoya explained that to me. After a tribute has gotten more comfortable with the clan dynamics and their protectors, they’re introduced to the clan as a whole. Not only tomeet the people they’d be living with, but also to give them the opportunity to find someone else to connect with. I didn’t want that. I wanted to stay with Rath.
“Korvash. Don’t fear. You’re safe.”
“What does that word mean?” He’d called me it more than once, but never translated it. And I was looking for any excuse to not think about meeting the entire clan.
Setting down his carving, he reached for me, pulling me into his lap. Like he could see right through me, he ignored my question, tucking my head under his chin as he repeated. “You’re safe.”
I wanted so badly to trust him. He sounded so determined, like he’d make sure I was safe, no matter what. I squeezed my eyes shut, willing myself to let go and just trust him. It was going to be okay. Rath would keep me safe.
My outfit formeeting the clan wasn’t something Rath made for me. It was brought to me by a woman with a rounded pregnant belly and bright red curls. She stayed long enough to make sure it fit me before wishing me luck and disappearing again.
I tugged self consciously at the material, trying to cover more of myself. The flowy material of the trousers didn’t bother me so much. They cinched at the ankles and were silky soft. It was the top that made me uncomfortable. It wrapped around my waist and draped over my shoulder, exposing half my chest. It could be worse. Rath wasn’t even wearing a shirt. He had his necklaces and some kind of belt made of similar fabric as my top, but otherwise, it was just him and his tattoos.
“Won’t you be cold?”
His brows furrowed as he turned to look at me. I lapsed into my own language when I was nervous, and he didn't understand me. I tried again, this time in his language.
“Rath not cold?”
The corner of his mouth ticked up, and he shook his head. “Fire warm. It’s fine.”
Right. I forgot about that. The celebration was to be held in the village center. Which made me feel better about getting cold, but it didn't help make me more comfortable. I tugged the material again, biting back a whimper.
Rath frowned, stepping up to me with his head tipped in question. “What’s wrong?”
It was the second time he’d asked me that today, and this time it was harder to be forthcoming. I didn’t want to complain and make him angry with me. He’d been patient a long time, but if he wanted to hand me off, tonight would be the night to do it. If I wanted him to keep me, I had to keep him happy.
I shook my head, forcing a smile. “N-Nothing. Should we go?”
He didn’t move, studying me for a moment before tugging the material off my shoulder. I covered myself immediately, never fully comfortable walking around shirtless. My brothers did it all the time, but I kept my tunic on unless bathing. Rath didn’t pay me much mind, working around me as he wrapped the material around my torso before draping it over my shoulder again. It didn’t drape quite as long as before, but it covered all but my shoulders and arms and the relief was overwhelming.
Tears pricked my eyes, and I ducked my head as I whispered a shaky, “Thank you.”
He cupped my jaw, forcing my face back up, and stroked his thumb over my cheek to dash the stray tear away. Instead of saying something, he pressed another soft kiss to my forehead, leaning into it just long enough to make my eyes slip closed inresponse to the sweet gesture. When he pulled away, I almost rocked forward, chasing the affection only he could give me.
“Come. We meet the clan now.”
Right. I kept my face carefully neutral, though I probably wasn’t doing a very good job of it. Rath didn’t comment when I clung to his arm as we got closer to the crowded village center, nor did he push me away. He led me through the crowd, introducing me to different members of his clan. It hurt my heart when he didn’t call me his Finn, but he still took care of me like he always did. He kept me closer to the fire, so I stayed warm, spoke slowly so I understood him better, and when I started to get overwhelmed, he pulled me toward the cushions to sit, tucking me against his side so I could stay warm farther from the fire.
Zoya came to join us not long later, introducing me to her barbarian, a large fighter named Khaul. His hair was shorter than Rath’s, but similarly shaved on the sides. He had tattoos too, but they were marred in places with scars, probably thanks to his profession. What surprised me the most was that he spoke my language, just like Zoya. Stilted, it was obviously not his first language, but still good enough for me to understand.
