“You’re right,” she murmured to Rath. I didn’t catch everything she said, but I caught the gist. “Not from a fall… Attacked? By who?... No, it won’t…”
Tuning them out, I tried harder to free myself from Rath’s grasp. This time he allowed it, his big hand cupping the back of my head as I hid my face against his chest again. His rumbling voice against my ear loosened the knot in my throat, little by little, and after a while, the exhaustion from the encounter overwhelmed me and I fell asleep.
I woke up alone in Rath’s tent. I figured he’d give me up eventually, especially after the humiliation from earlier, but it still hurt and I burst into silent tears, pulling the blankets over my head. I was never going to get a happy ending. All those books I read were a lie.
Crying until my eyes were swollen and my nose was stuffed up wasn’t pretty, but it was cathartic, in a way. It cleared my head enough to think clearly. I couldn’t go back to my home town. They’d kill me if I did. But maybe if I begged, Rath would send me somewhere new. A bigger town that I could more easily hide in. I’d take whatever job I could get and keep my head down. It wasn’t much of a life, but I wasn’t ready to give up on living yet.
I was so wrapped up in my plans, I didn’t notice the noise of the tent flap moving until a warm male body settled beside me.
“Korvash,” Rath murmured, running his hand over my head through the blanket.
I’d honestly expected him to avoid me until he could get rid of me, so I startled hard, jerking away from his touch. When I pulled the blanket down far enough to look at him, he lookedhurt, and the guilt twisted uncomfortably in my stomach. I sat up quickly, shaking my head.
“S-Sorry! You startled me!” I reached for him to reassure him, but then jerked my hand back when I remembered my earlier humiliation. He was comforting me. That didn’t mean he wanted me.
“I-I’m fine. You don’t need to coddle me. You should get some rest. Oh!” I realized belatedly that I was still in his bed. He probably wanted that back. “I’ll sleep on the floor. I’m sorry. I–”
He caught me before I could fully climb out of the bed, dragging me back into his lap. I tried to protest, mostly out of embarrassment, but he didn't let up, and when I struggled too much, he rolled over so I was trapped underneath him on the bed.
Unwelcome heat swept through me at the intimate position. I turned my face away, my cheeks burning, and squeezed my eyes shut, trying to think of something other than the weight of his body against mine.
“Finn. My Finn. Look at me.”
I shook my head. The embarrassment was too much. I couldn’t face him.
Apparently, his patience ran out, but instead of yelling or hurting me, he buried his face against my neck, his beard tickling the sensitive skin. The move made me squirm and twist to get away, and when he lifted his head, I couldn’t look away again without prompting another tickle attack.
His smile warmed me to my core as he stared down at me. When he pressed his forehead against mine, my eyes slipped shut again, this time soaking in the moment. I loved when he did that. It made my heart skip, and I wished not for the first time that I could stay like that forever.
“I feared for you,” he murmured, his voice solemn.
Some of the warmth drifted away, but I couldn’t curl in on myself like I wanted to. Not with how we were positioned. I had no choice but to face him head on.
“I’m sorry…”
He shook his head, nuzzling against me. “No. No sorry. Who hurt you?”
I couldn’t answer that even if I wanted to. She didn’t stop to introduce herself. When I didn’t answer, Rath sighed heavily.
“Finn… My Finn. I…” He growled, like he wanted to say something but didn’t know how to communicate it. If he kept me, I’d throw myself into learning the language so he’d never be annoyed with me again.
Shifting only enough to take my hand, he pressed it to his chest right over his heart, looking at me with fierce determination. “My Finn. Safe.” He said it then in my language, pressing my hand harder to his chest. “Safe. With me.”
I got what he was trying to say. He wanted to keep me safe. By not telling him who hurt me, I wasn’t letting him protect me. No one had ever cared so much about my safety before. I thought I’d cried all the tears I had, but more sprouted in my eyes, spilling over my temples and into my hair.
Rath shook his head. “No. No sad. Safe.”
I didn’t know how else to tell him I trusted him. So, even though it was probably the worst kiss ever, I lifted my head and pressed my lips to his.
A lifetime of dreaming and pretending the characters in books were both men, so I could imagine a real romance, didn't prepare me for my first kiss. It was barely anything at first, a chaste brush of our lips, but when I pulled away, Rath followed me, taking my lips more firmly. My heart beat thundered in my ears, drowning out all my senses except for the touch of his lips on mine. Gentle sips at first, then deeper, his tongue pushing between my lips to tangle with mine. I hadn’t been expecting it,and my body lit up in response, my back arching to press myself more firmly against him.
His weight settled more firmly on top of me, giving me the warm and safe feeling I craved. Thick fingers combed through my hair, making me shiver and mewl for more. I never thought I was touch starved, but the more Rath touched me, the more I wanted from him.
By the time Rath pulled away, I was panting and my lips felt swollen from the attention. He leaned his forehead against mine again, his smile strained.
“You need sleep,” he murmured, brushing his lips against mine again like he couldn’t resist. Then he drew away completely.
I whimpered out a protest, clinging to him and shaking my head. “Don’t go. Please.”
