I spilled my guts about Beth and the whole messy affair. From our steamy night of passion to the shitstorm that followed, I laid it all out for Dad. I confessed my conflicted feelings. How I couldn’t stop thinking about her even though she’d done everything she could to shut me out.
“I don’t know what to do, Da,” I finished, scrubbing a hand over my face. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, but the whole situation is one big screwed up mess.”
Helistened intently, his eyes never leaving my face. When I finally fell silent, he let out a long, slow breath. “Ah, Sean,” he said, his voice soft with understanding. “Love’s never simple, is it?”
He turned back to the railing, his gaze distant, as if looking into the past. “Did I ever tell ye about how I met yer mother?”
I shook my head, curious despite my turmoil. Dad’s voice took on a nostalgic tone as he began his story.
“It was right before Christmas, and I’d taken a trip to San Jose for business. I wasn’t looking for love, mind ye. I was still grieving for Alec’s mother. But then I met your mum.”
His eyes lit up at the memory, and I leaned in, captivated by the passion in his voice.
“She was newly widowed herself, with four children. But the moment I saw her, I knew. It was like a bolt of lightning. I couldn’t explain it if I tried, but I knew I wanted to marry her.”
My father chuckled, shaking his head. “We had a whirlwind romance—your mother and I. Married six months after we met. Can ye believe it? Everyone thought we were mad.”
I listened, enthralled, as he recounted their story. How they’d blended their families, bringing ten children under oneroof. How I and Xander had come along less than a year later, adding to the beautiful chaos.
“It wasn’t easy, mind ye,” Dad continued, his voice growing serious. “Blending families, dealing with grief, starting a new life... we faced our fair share of challenges. But we faced them just the same, and that made all the difference.”
He turned to me then, his eyes twinkling. “And let me tell ye, son, I’ve never regretted a single moment. Not one.”
“But how did you know, Da? How were you so sure it was the right thing to do?”
His’s laugh was warm and full. “Oh, I wasn’t sure at all. I was terrified, if I’m being honest. But sometimes, Sean, ye have to take a leap of faith. When ye find someone who makes yer heart race and yer palms sweat, someone who challenges ye and excites ye in equal measure... well, that’s worth fighting for.”
He fixed me with a serious look then, his hand coming to rest on my shoulder. “You’re a grown man, Sean, and I can’t tell ye what to do. But I’ll give ye a piece of advice. Whatever ye decide, ye better make it quick. Life’s too short to be wasting it on regrets.”
I nodded, feeling a mix of emotions swirling inside me. “Thanks, Da,” I said softly. “I... I’ve got a lot to think about.”
My father squeezed my shoulder. “That ye do, lad. That ye do.”
As we turned to go back inside, I felt lighter somehow. The problem wasn’t solved, but sharing it with my father had eased some of the burden.
The evening slipped by faster than I realized, and suddenly, it was time to say my goodbyes. Mom hugged me, making me promise to visit again soon. Dad’s embrace wasbrief but meaningful, his eyes conveying understanding and support.
As I drove home, the quiet of the car was filled with my racing thoughts. My father’s words circled in my mind, mixing with memories of Beth. Her laugh, her fiery spirit, the way she’d looked at me like she could see right through to my soul.
But then I remembered our last encounter, her anger, her pain, the way she’d pushed me away. Was it really worthwhile to go chasing after Beth?
Then again, hadn’t Dad taken a chance on love when it seemed impossible? He and Mom had faced challenges I could hardly imagine, yet here they were, still deeply in love after all these years.
I chewed on that for a bit, mulling over my career. Sure, I’d busted my ass to become this motivational guru, spouting off about living your best life and all that jazz. But was I actually walking the walk? Or was I a fraud, cowering behind this shiny, perfect front I’d built? I was supposed to inspire people to grab life by the horn, and I couldn’t even sort out my own shit. The irony was thick enough to choke on.
As I rolled into the parking lot of my apartment complex, my brain was still a freaking mess. It felt like there was a goddamn cage match going on in my head, with my emotions beating the shit out of each other. But I couldn’t keep living in this limbo, torn between my emotions and what my head said was sensible.
I stepped into my apartment, the jangling of my keys echoing through the empty space like a lonely wind chime. I couldn’t get the image of Beth’s smile from my mind. That spark we had? It wasn’t just pulling at my heartstrings. It was playing them like a goddamn fiddle, leaving me all twisted up inside.
I chucked the keys onto the counter with a clatter and kicked off my shoes, sending them flying across the room. Dragging my sorry ass to the bedroom, I started an attempt at my bedtime routine. But who was I kidding? I knew damn well I was in for another night of tossing and turning, my brain running laps while my body begged for rest. I was screwed, right?
My father’s words were like a broken record in my head, looping endlessly as I sprawled out on my bed. “Life’s too short to be wasting it on regrets.” The question was, which decision would I regret more? Chasing after Beth, or letting her go?
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
BETH
I stumbledoff the plane at JFK, feeling the familiar, bone-deep numbness of a long-haul flight. My God, this place was a special kind of madhouse. To say it was Glasgow on steroids would be an understatement. Glasgow was a quaint village pub; this was a rock festival during a hurricane, and everyone was late for the headliner. Welcome to New York, Beth, you absolute numpty. What the hell were you doing here?
