I thought a soak in the bath would clear the cobwebs that laced across my mind since I read my father’s letter. But it had only strengthened them. Fog crept through every fragmented thought, blood moved sluggish through my veins.
The tether between my mind and body frayed as my head slipped further under the water. I floated above my form as it inched under. Watched as the lip of water lapped dangerously close to my nostrils.
There was a distant press of panic against the confines of my brain, but it didn’t cause the reaction I needed. Everything melted inside, and I couldn’t get my limbs to work in unison together.
I thought I was in a fugue from depression, but it had morphed into something different.
I had no strength to pull myself out of the bath. Water tickled my nostrils, but my muscles flopped like jelly, soft and useless.
I could drown here.
The realization didn’t produce the panic it should’ve. There was no surge of adrenaline to master my numb limbs. Heavy thumps echoed through my muzzy-headed brain.
But when Romeo burst through the splintered door, I sucked water in on a sharp inhale. My lungs burned as I spluttered, flailing with feeble movement.
My husband cursed. His legs blurred as he plunged his arms into the bath and wrenched me out. I watched all this from outside my body as my limbs flopped, unresponsive once more. He cradled my naked body to his chest, face pale and pinched.
Romeo sank to the floor, taking me with him. His clothes soaked from the tepid water, suds sliding off his arms. A free hand pushed my bedraggled hair upward, and he searched my face.
“Anita, Anita,” Romeo kept repeating my name, interspersed with curses.
I couldn’t respond. My lips were numb. My body didn’t belong to me anymore. He pinned one eyelid open with a sharp noise, looking at my pupils as if he could unravel everything from their size.
“What have you done, sweetheart?” he groaned, guttural.
He grabbed the closest towel and dried me down. A feat, given I lolled in his hold. The fluffy material jerked across my body in his panic. Romeo rubbed the towel down my limbs as if trying to encourage agency in them. Cold tingled down my fingers from the abrupt exit from the bath, and he sagged with relief.
“C-c-cold.” My teeth clattered together, snapping at my thick tongue. My body was overwhelmed by waves of coasting prickles, making me wince. My mind floated in a protective bubble, free from the dragging misery I’d been wallowing in for days. Romeo rushed us into the bedroom. He all but shoved me under the covers and piled them over me. The shivers softened by the cocoon Romeo had wrapped around me.
“Is that better? Please…please…” Romeo talked to himself, wide-eyed and frantic.
He raced to the door and shouted at someone to call for a doctor. It was only a moment, but his absence made me whimper. Whatever had taken hold of my body carved openmy chest as well, delving into the long, dusty emotions that I’d compressed.
I was always alone. An island. Untouchable and unreachable. There was only one person I could call a friend, and yet I kept him away with the force of my alias.
Paolo couldn’t give me what I needed.
I didn’t even know what I was craving until Romeo scooted onto the bed and wrapped me in his powerful arms. He’d shed his damp shirt, and the warmth that surrounded me, the intensity of his scent, wrapped me in another layer of protection. There wasn’t anything sexual about his touch, but it was desperate. His fingers clamped the sheets around my bare skin with a biting worry.
I leaned into it. The touch soothed the shattered parts of me. Reading the letter from my dad had brought me low. I couldn’t remember the sound of his voice. Time had even smeared his picture in my mind.
“Don’t leave me,” he muttered into my hair, a hitch in the plea as his voice caught. “I know you’re unhappy, but don’t do this. Don’t give up yet, Anita. You’re too much of a fighter to do this.”
What did he think I was doing? I wondered, furrowing my brow with effort. He dragged me into his lap, covering us both in the sheets. I turned my nose into the crook of his neck. My limbs were wet noodles, and his tense hold was the only thing keeping me up.
“I-I-I’m sick,” I managed. “Not s-s-suic—” I sucked in a sharp breath. Romeo sagged against me for a moment.
“Alright, alright, sweetheart. That’s good. You can’t leave me yet. You haven’t made me pay for breaking your heart.”
I shivered, hacking up a half-hearted laugh.
Romeo palmed my soaked hair, clutching me closer. The rivulets ran down my back, dampening the sheets. His chest expanded in uneven, forceful breaths. I met his crystalline stare.My body was hallucinating, but I was sure I saw love threaded through his half-lidded gaze. My eyelids fluttered closed, their weight taking me into the shadows.
When I next woke, it was with a cottonmouth and a furnace against me. My eyelids were gummy and swollen as I raised my head, muscles screaming at the action. My upper half was sprawled over Romeo’s chest, and my leg was hooked over his thigh.
His naked thigh.
“You’re awake,” he breathed, his fingers sifting through my hair. My hand froze, spread across his chest. His nipples hardened as I slid my fingers across them. I wasn’t brave enough to look down in case I found him naked as I was. I flushed to the tips of my ears.
