Tonight was going to be everything I denied myself the first time.
7
Age 15
“You’re not supposed to be here,” Father sighed, gripping the bench with his gloved hands. His face was lined with quiet disappointment. I hovered in the doorway, unsure of my welcome for the first time in my life. The greenhouse had always been a haven for me. Every time I learned the use of a new plant, it soothed the rage that twisted my stomach and made my jaw ache.
“She won’t know,” I pleaded, hating how vulnerable I sounded. Mom had gotten her way. I had been banned from the greenhouse for three months, and it was agony. It was like a limb had been sliced from my body. But not only that, I missed my father. He’d been much busier with work, and I barely saw him at all. The few times he’d joined mom and me for dinner had been so frosty I felt the chill to my bones.
“I made a promise,” Father sighed, stepping over to the shelf where he hoisted down a thick folder. He laid it on the bench, sliding it in my direction.
“I hate her. She’s a witch,” I spat, curling my fists into my hips. Father tapped the folder, not addressing my vitriol. How did he stay so cold, so unaffected? I wanted to emulate him, but the rage roiled too hard until I gave in.
“This is for you. When I’m not around any longer. You know how to care for these plants, like you know how to breathe.”
The hairs on the back of my neck stood up, and I looked at the folder, stuffed to the brim with paper. What could it hold? He leaned against the bench, folding his arms.
“What are you talking about?” I whispered, not liking the tired tilt of his shoulders.
“I’ve been selfish with you, Anita. I’ve missed my apprentice.” His eyes were bright. “But I am not a good man, and your mom did her best. She didn’t know what kind of man she was marrying.”
“That’s her own fault,” I said impetuously. Father put the folder back on the shelf and patted it once.
“Everybody hides their darkness, Anita. Until they find someone who can bear the sight of it. Your mom grew up in this world, so I thought she would understand, but…” He shrugged and gave me an apologetic look. “Never mind. I shouldn’t be talking to you about this. But I wanted you to know.”
Know what? That my mom enjoyed being a kept woman, able to flit around to endless tea parties? She had the freedom to do what she wanted while my father worked for the Orazios. She turned a blind eye to whatever he did for them, and he never came home with a hair out of place. It didn’t bother me, but my mom was weak, and she had taken the only place that gave me peace.
“Promise me you won’t leave me.” I scrambled with the surge of fear that scratched my throat. But he didn’t give me what I wanted.
“What’s rule number three?” Father’s dark eyes, so like mine, bore into me. I sagged against the door, my face crumpling. His thick eyebrow arched up. He wanted an answer, and it tore at my heart to give it to him.
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
“You should go now,” my father commanded, turning to fiddle with the jars on the shelves. I bit my lip so hard a flood of iron coated my tongue.
Father might have thought he sheltered me, but I knew exactly what he was. The darkness that existed in him? The same one lived in me.
Lanton Vani’s house had marble pillars and a rose-lined front path I envied. I grabbed the scent of a blood-colored bloom climbing a trellis.
“Do you have an appointment?” There was a guard at the door. His head was oversized for his gangly body, his patchy beard a valiant effort. He shifted awkwardly, flaring out his bony elbows as I lifted an eyebrow.
“Is Mrs. Vani so busy? I didn’t realize I had to book an appointment to see my friend.” I tapped my wicker basket hooked around my arm. “She asked me to come for lunch.”
The guard dithered, as if trying to think of a reason to turn me away. I clicked my tongue and jerked my head. But he didn’t move aside, spluttering until I pinned him with a sharp look.
“Don’t you know who my husband is?” I sniffed. I hated to use Romeo’s position, but I was also a woman. The only power men recognized was other men. It worked as he stepped to the side, nodding for me to go through. The hostile welcome jarred me, as did the stony silence of the house as I swung the door open.Shadows covered the pristine tiled floor, stretched dark up the empty walls. There was no warmth, no soul here.
“Hello?” I called out, angling my head around one door. There was no reply. Frustration bubbled inside of me. I wasn’t here for altruistic reasons. I wanted to give Merissa my gift and get back to the house before Romeo noticed. Although he seemed so excited by the prospect of our second wedding night, he believed the lie I gave him. I didn’t need six hours of uninterrupted pampering time to get ready for another disappointing night. But he didn’t know that. When he’d walked into the greenhouse, I’d almost choked. My heart had stayed lodged in my throat the whole time.
I waited for him to put it together. To see the plants and realize there was another side to his sweet wife. All the potent mixtures I kept stored in innocuous containers, something I was glad I’d implemented. But when Paolo walked in, I thought it would tip him over. But he didn’t even look around the greenhouse. He only looked at me.
My husband was handsome, and he was also dumber than a bag of rocks. It was what gave me confidence about tonight. In his mind, there was no way a woman could be The Gardener. I hoped tonight ended with him as embarrassed and mortified as I was the first time around. But I had to take care of a pest first. It was a risk, but one I had weighed and found worth the investment. Romeo had been discreet when he met with Bruno, at least this time he’d closed the door. But it wasn’t enough to stop me from eavesdropping almost every word. After what I heard, I was convinced. Romeo was in luck. He needed my help, The Gardener’s, and I was willing to be of service.
“Excuse me?” A maid turned a corner and startled when she saw me. Her eyes widened, and her hand went to her throat. As if I’d startled a rabbit out of hiding.
“I’m here to visit Mrs. Vani,” I stated, not explaining myself. The maid fidgeted and cast a look to the sprawling staircase. Her shoes squeaked on the glossy floor, and she froze.
“She’s indisposed, ma’am. Perhaps you could reschedule?” She ducked her head with a visible cringe.
