Page 86 of Ride Me Cowboy
I tilt my head, a silent agreement. “Something wrong with that?”
Her features show anguish. “It’s a very natural way to feel,” she says, slowly, choosing her words with care. “But the only thing you’ll ever be able to control is right here,” she says, drawing a circle on my chest. “Your life, your choices. Not Beau, not Austin, Nash or Mack, not Caleb, or anyone else you care about. You have to absolve yourself of blame for this. Of guilt. Beau is hisown person, and he’s going to do whatever he wants, whether you support him or not.”
I know she’s right. I damn well know it. The same is true of all my siblings, but Beau in particular is more stubborn than a mule.
“It’s a mistake.”
“I don’t disagree.” She leans closer then wraps her arms around my waist. “But it’s his mistake to make.”
“Jesus, Beth,” I groan, dropping my head and pressing a kiss against her brow, wishing she was wrong. Wishing we could keep arguing this point, that there’s some way I could bring her around to my perspective, when I know she’s right. The only thing I’m going to achieve if I keep having this old fight with Beau is pushing him away. That’s the last thing I want.
“He’s signing his own death warrant.”
“Maybe,” she says, eyes meeting mine. “But apparently, it’s what he wants to do. You’ve gotta let him go.”
I grunt my acceptance of that, as I wrap my arms around Beth and hold her tight.
Beth
Three weeks later, Beau leaves for the circuit, and everyone puts a pretty good face on it, even when they—we—all hate it. Ash Callahan is the exception. I haven’t seen her around here since their blow up. Their arrangement seems to have come to an end, and I can’t say I blame her. While they might be casual, sheobviously still cares enough about Beau to hate the thought of him riding bulls week in, week out.
A week after Beau leaves, Cassidy comes back to the ranch. Cole and I have managed to keep whatever it is we’re doing off everyone’s radar, though I can’t believe we haven’t been found out. Other than Mackenzie, no one knows we’re basically living together above the stables.
And that is what we’re doing.
I go down there after the ranch hands have packed up for the day, taking a book to read or my phone to work on the social media accounts, waiting for Cole to swagger in. If anyone notices we both happen to be absent at the same time a lot, they don’t ask us about it.
When Cassidy arrives, I notice right away that she’s different. Oh, she’s like her brothers, in some ways. She’s tall, has their swagger and confidence, but she’s got long, dark blonde hair, where theirs is all dark. She definitely seems like she belongs here, with her slight twang and how comfortable she is around livestock, horses, dust and the guys who work this place. But she also picks the brand of my heels from the red soles alone, as well as the designer brand of my suit.
She even asks me what someone with a ten-thousand-dollar handbag is doing out on Coyote Creek Ranch. But the way she asks it is just laced with curiosity, rather than accusation.
I tell her I have a friend who likes to give me things—it’s a white lie, but having made it this far, I’m determined to fiercely protect the reality of my life back in New York for the rest of the time I’m here.
Which is now only a month. Four weeks.
Twenty-eight nights.
It sounds like a long time, when you say it like that, but knowing how fast the past two months have gone, the last month in particular, I feel that date zipping toward me so much faster than I want.
Which is all the more reason to be glad I’m almost done here.
The social media campaign is picking up momentum. It’s been a slow graft, but we now have tens of thousands of followers, including some really great brands. I feel like sponsorship opportunities aren’t far off.
I’ve thought about offering to stay on as a social media manager for the ranch. I can do that from New York. While Mack’s doing great work filming and editing quick videos together, I can’t help but feel like it’s my baby. Like what I really want is to stay around until it becomes a bona fide success. To see the fruits of my labor—to know Cole is finally able to build the ranch back up.
A week after Cassidy arrives, Mackenzie agrees to be in a video. We’re out by Beau’s barbecue—it doesn’t feel the same without him, but no one acknowledges that outwardly, even when I know we’re all feeling it. Especially Ash Callahan, who’s come over with her brother for the night—first time in weeks. Mack’s too young to drink but she’s had a beer and has grabbed her guitar after dinner. I can tell she’s nervous, but also excited.
“I wanted to play y’all something I’ve been working on,” she says, after the boys have gone inside to clean up. “To see what you think.”
I ignore the strange hum of jealousy in the middle of my chest, when I realize she’s obviously told Cassidy about her music, too.Why shouldn’t she? They’ve known each other a lot longer than I’ve known Mack.
Mack strums the guitar, and as the flames of the fire turn to ember, and the fairy lights overhead twinkle like little stars, she begins to sing, and the whole world seems to stop spinning, slowing down and then grinding to a halt.
Mackenzie’s voice is incredible. Gentle and understated, but also loaded with passion.
And if this is the only time we have,
And time is never one to wait, at least, it never has,
