I mean, I have money. I can go anywhere. Do anything. I can sell the penthouse, or donate it to a refugee charity or something—let someone else live there and make use of it.
I’m no longer bound by the misery of my marriage. No longer trapped by a sadistic bastard of a man.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” he says, voice deep, and right behind me. I know, without turning, that he’s come to stand and look at the view, too. A quick refocusing of my eyes shows his outline in the reflection of the window, and yes, he’s close to me. My pulseratchets up, so my heart is uncomfortable in the narrowness of my ribcage.
“I guess you’d miss this place if you ever had to leave,” I murmur, diverting the conversation away from myself.
He expels a sigh, and I feel it against my neck. Every part of me flips into a weird sort of overdrive, an explosion of awareness makes it seem like an alarm is going off in my head.
“Bet your boots.”
A smile tugs at my lips, because it’s such a sweet, folksy way to agree with me, but there’snothingsweet about this rugged rancher.
“Tell me, Beth, you got anyone waiting for you back home?”
My heart jolts right up into my throat. The question isn’t totally out of place. I mean, I’m here, living in his home, working at close quarters with him, dealing with the finances of his family ranch, and people out this way probably live by those old-fashioned sort of manners that mean they treat each other like open books. It’s a far cry from the society I was a part of in New York.
I falter, trying to choose my words. “I—no,” I say, after a too-long pause. “Not really.”
“Not really?” He’s still so close. If I were to lean back, I’d be pressed against that solid wall of muscle. What would it feel like to just surrender to that temptation? To lean on someone strong and unbreakable. I’ve had to be strong, on my own, for so long. I can’t even imagine how good it would be to let someone like Cole be my strength for a while.
The thoughtterrifiesme.
It’s completely out of character. I don’t trust anyone. Not after Christopher. God, I learned that lesson. I learned it hard and fast, and I never forgot it during our marriage; I’ll never forget it, the rest of my life. Not when I lived with the consequences of that mistake for so many god-awful days and nights.
I turn around, needing to say something, to explain, but damn it, he’s right there and up close, there’s a pull toward him that’s almost magnetic. I try to swallow but there’s a lump in my throat that won’t quit.
“I don’t have any family,” I say, and don’t move, even though that was my plan when I spun around.
He nods slowly. “That must be kinda lonely.”
If only he knew the half of it.
“I can’t imagine, truth be told.”
My lips pull sideways. We’re toe-to-toe but neither of us moves. “Well, that’s because you grew up in a big family,” I point out. “It was probably always pretty noisy.”
“Noisy, stinky, whatever word you can think of, we were it,” he grins and my heart thwomps in my chest. He iswaytoo handsome. “My mom, may she rest in peace, had the patience of a saint.”
I open my mouth to ask about his mom, but before I can say anything, he pushes on, almost like he’s trying to avoid the question.
“So, you’re heading into town tomorrow?” he asks, and it takes me a second to join the dots and work out what he’s talking about. Then I remember the check I’d offered to run to the feed store.
“In the afternoon, if I get through here.” I hesitate, something familiar chilling my veins a moment. “Is that okay with you?”
He looks at me like I’ve just asked if he wants steak tartare for dinner. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
Heat floods my cheeks. He’s not Christopher and I really need to recognize that.
“I just—thought you might need me here.”
His eyes flare, I’m absolutely sure of it. For the smallest second, our eyes meet and the heat of his gaze almost scorches me from the inside out. Every cell in my body seems to be trembling, and my breasts tingle against the lace of my bra. I try to swallow, but my throat still won’t cooperate.
“You just said you’d only go if you get through your work.”
That’s true; I had said that.
“Seeing as you’re gonna be in Goodnight anyway, come on by and eat with us.”
