The squeals of children laughing struck her in the heart.
Chris had never wanted kids. Even early in their marriage when she brought up the subject, he shot her down. He said he loved it just being the two of them and didn’t want a baby.
Yet here he was married to a woman half his age and expecting a child.
How much had she given up for him and been left with so little?
She swallowed down the bitterness and closed the curtain. She debated going out for dinner but she didn’t feel like it. Instead she got her purse and headed for the vending machines she’d seen in the office.
When Carolina opened the door, the owner glanced up but said nothing. She went over to the machine and pulled out her leftover change from the laundromat. She put in her money and watched a granola bar drop from its slot. She lifted the plastic door and retrieved her purchase. Next, she moved to the pop machine and purchased a diet soda.
A woman with a crying baby walked in. She headed for the vending machine as she tried to soothe the baby.
The mother gave her an apologetic smile. “He’s teething. And nights are the worst.”
“It will get better,” Carolina said, hoping to offer some encouragement.
“Thanks. I sure hope you’re right.” The harried mother got a soda and walked back to her room.
Carolina stuffed her granola bar in her purse and popped the top on her soda. She took a drink and headed back to her room.
Sitting on the bed she felt an overwhelming sense of loss.
Loss of her marriage.
Loss of her husband.
But what scared her the most was the feeling she’d lost herself.
Chapter 10
The walls at the motel were paper thin.
The family with the two small kids had apparently stayed up all night watching movies because Carolina heard every word they said.
Despite all that she somehow managed a few hours of sleep. She woke at six a.m. and decided there was no use staying in bed. She had a full day ahead of her so she needed to get started.
She took a long hot shower and washed her hair. After she dressed in jeans and a sweater she dried her hair and applied a little mascara and lip gloss.
Carolina stared at her reflection in the mirror.
She noticed her clothes were looser and she hadn’t realized how much weight she’d lost in her face. The dark circles from lack of sleep accentuated her now slender face. She tugged on the loose waistband.
Heading out to her car, she found a belt in the pillowcase with her shoes before going back to her room.
She stood in front of the mirror and tugged the belt and hooked it on the last notch.
Carolina glanced at the time. Not yet seven.
There was time to grab some coffee in the office before heading over to the house.
She stepped outside and locked her room, shivering at the cool morning air. She remembered seeing a blue jean jacket in one of her piles of clothes so she retrieved it from the jeep.
Slipping it on, she huddled into her jacket as she walked to the office.
Carolina opened the door and the welcoming scent of coffee greeted her like an old friend.
“Good morning.” The owner said.
