Page 86 of Yesterday I Cared
I stare at her, dumbfounded. Did those words really come out of her mouth? Did she almost take my thunder away from me? Notthat I care. I’m not one of those guys who has to say the four-letter word first, but I had a whole damn date night—The date night!
With a grin, I tangle our fingers together and tug her toward the kitchen. Lezak trots ahead of us.
I’d missed hearing her laugh bouncing off the walls of my house when I was in California. Hearing it now reminds me that this is home. She is home. The people in our lives are home. “Ronan, aren’t you going…Oh, my god.”
She skids to a stop in the doorway of the kitchen, taking in the sight before her. The table is set with dark purple napkins and ombre purple glasses, lit with dark candles. Our dinner is in the oven, waiting to be served. There is a huge bouquet sitting in the middle of the table, three cards worked into the display.
“Kat helped with the setting,” I murmur. “The flowers are for you.”
“Ronan, what…” I cut her off with a nudge toward the flowers. She closes the distance, letting out a wet laugh when she sees the tarot cards nestled into the bouquet. She turns to me. “I thought you didn’t believe in tarot?”
I wind my arms around her, pressing her back against my chest and resting my chin on her shoulder. Her hands come up to rub my forearms, one finger dipping down to trace the outline of my Olympic rings tattoo. I turn it until she has full access. “It’s kind of hard not to believe when the person who read the cards got everything right.”
She tilts her head to look at me, smirking. “I did, did I?”
“Mm-hmm. I could have taken whatever my father offered me. I could have lived a life without responsibilities, but that’s not what I wanted. It wouldn’t be a life and I’d always be under his thumb. So, I took a chance to focus on a new outlook. As for standing up for what I believe in, that’s what I was doing in California.”
She turns in my arms; her surprised eyes searching mine. Her hands are resting on my chest now, mine having dropped to her waist. “What do you mean?”
“I’m no longer president of Operation Fly,” I admit. “I resigned and promoted my VP, Mel Segal.”
She gasps. “Ronan, why would you do that?”
“Because that position would eventually take me away from my home, sometimes for months at a time, and I didn’t want that. I’m still the chairman of the board and I’ll still need to be in San Francisco occasionally, but this gives me more flexibility to be here.” I rub gentle circles against her side. “It gives me the flexibility to work with my team, support my friends, and continue to fall in love.”
“Love?” she whispers.
I press my grin against hers. “I’m still on the Seven of Wands, baby. My priority is living my life and finding a home for myself. When my father called, I knew I needed to deal with it. I called to ask you to watch Lezak a little longer so I could do that. We fought. The kind of fight you can’t come back from, but in the end, he’s happy because he gets to keep his money and wash his hands of his washed-up son.”
I can see the way she wants to protest. She wants to try to figure out ways to fix it, so I kiss her again before she can. This one a little longer, a little deeper, but still a kiss for the sake of a kiss.
When we part, I tell her, “Don’t try to fix it, gorgeous. I made my choice a long time ago. I feel free in a way I didn’t before, but I hope you weren’t banking your happy ending on another trust fund coming my way because that thing has been dissolved.”
“Another?” She arches her brow. “And you lost it? Well, that might change everything.”
I pull her closer when she tries to pull away, both of us laughing. This time, when we try to come back together, it’s a disaster, our smiles getting in the way.
“And The Lovers card?”
“That one’s easy,” I tell her, winding my arms around her to pull her close again. “You see, there’s this woman I know who will pick me every time, but that’s not really necessary. Recently, I realized something important—something I’d been blissfully blind to before.”
“Yeah? What’s that?”
I press my forehead against hers. “You. It’s always been you, Mia. When I think of home, I think of the people we surround ourselves with. I think of us turning this place into something warm and cozy, having Lezak with me at the pool, but at the center of it all isyou. Because you are my home and I’m sorry I spent so long away.”
“Ronan,” she breathes. “I love you, Ronan.”
She still beat me to those three words, but at least I got to say everything I needed to. At least I got the chance to say what has been weighing me down for so long.
As she collapses against me, both of us allowing ourselves to be lost in a kiss, I’m happier than I’ve ever been. I’ve spent my whole life looking for somewhere I belong, but it turns out that it’s not a place. It’s someone. It’s many people. It’s a small family I’ve spent years building, constructing it out of the people I can’t be without.
“I love you, too,” I murmur.
Mia shifts in my arms, turning her face to press against my side. Her warm breath ghosts against my skin. The house is still and quiet in the early morning. Not even Lezak is up yet, but I can't bring myself to go back to sleep. An anxious buzz has taken over me, but it's not in a bad way this time.
Mia and I talked a lot over dinner last night. I explained why I kept things from her and expressed my fears behind them, elaborated on how ruin follows me wherever I go. She shared her own fears of being left and how my lack of communication ignited those fears. We worked through those remaining issues, apologizing when those needed to be said. We made commitments to one another and the relationship we were hoping to build. We talked for hours, with Lezak asleep at my feet and the dishes left forgotten, when we finally made our way to bed.
We had tumbled into the covers, clothes lazily coming off one another. There was no frenzy, no biting passion. We took our time with one another, got to know each other’s bodies as fully as possible. She found a spot on the inside of my upper thigh that I didn’t know could bring the sounds out of me that it did. Then again, maybe it’s Mia. I finally got to see what it looked like when she came apart on my tongue and fingers. Each second that passed between us was charged with something different from burning passion. It was contentment.
