Page 70 of Yesterday I Cared
I press a kiss against her temple, breathing in the scent of her shampoo. "Is there anything witchy or witchy adjacent you don't find fascinating?"
“Curses,” she answers immediately. “I may be the mean friend, but I’m not mean enough to curse anyone.”
“I don’t think you’re mean,” I murmur. “You’re protective of yourself and the people you love. There’s a difference.”
“Then why is Bryce scared of me?”
I tangle our fingers together. “Because he hurt someone you are protective of, and he knows it. He’s probably going to spend the rest of his life trying to prove to you how sorry he is and that he’ll never do it again.”
“He can make it up to me by proposing to her already,” she grumbles. “I hate keeping secrets from Josie, but that ring needs tobe on her finger. He keeps texting me ideas and I keep shooting them down. Josie won’t want it to be public or overly extravagant.”
There are days there where I forget our friend’s impending engagement. The moment Bryce told us felt odd to me. I’m only a little older than him, but for a good chunk of those years, it felt like a bigger gap. He was still in his early twenties, barely an adult, when I had my accident and the way he stepped up as a friend, as someone who looked up to me, made me realize how fleeting moments are for each of us.
It happens slowly and then all at once. One day, you still feel like a kid who’s fighting to be seen for who they really are, but also not quite ready to handle serious things, and the next, you’re staring adulthood straight in the face and wondering where your youth went.
“I can’t believe they’re going to get married.”
“They’re not getting married because he’s too much of a chicken shit to propose to her. I swear, if he doesn’t do it soon, I will.”
I can almost picture it. Mia, too frustrated waiting, finding the ring, and dragging Bryce along with her until they find Josie. There would be no ceremony, no pomp or circumstance, she’d plop down on one knee and do it for him. But I can’t let her do that; they deserve their moment. “Give him time. He wants it as perfect as you do.”
With a long, drawn-out sigh, she tilts her head back to look at me. Unable to resist, I lean down to kiss her. I don’t know if she was planning to say anything else, or plead her case, but the kiss seems to relax her. When we separate, she settles further against me, her eyes drifting closed as I hold her tighter, relaxing into the silence.
"You all did a great job tonight!" I tell the team, who are all beaming up at me. "Our first meet is the second week of September, so just over a month away. And we're hosting it here."
The entire team cheers, getting pumped up for the first meet as a team. Most of them are coming off high school teams, deciding to go the club route all year. Since we're registered with the National Swimming Federation, we must adhere to their rules, which means we can race against high schools, but our swimmers cannot be on both teams. For a lot of them, this will be their first time facing their high school friends as rivals, and I'm anxious to see how it goes.
"Go home and get some rest. Tomorrow you have a weight training session," I remind them. "I'll see you all at six tomorrow morning."
I bite back a grin as I'm met with nothing but groans from annoyed teenagers. As a new club and a new team, I tried to keep early morning practices to a minimum, preferring evening or daytime practices during the summer. The closer we've gotten to competition season, I've started moving the practices to better reflect what the schedule will look like during the school year. Which typically means practices every morning, and an occasional practice or workout after school. A couple of the kids stop to ask me questions, or talk about their practices, so it's surprising to me when I turn and find Emmie patiently sitting on the bench.
"Hey, you okay?"
When she looks up at me, there's something in her eyes that I can't quite read, but I don't think I like it. Immediately, a hundred thoughts run through my head. Has something happened with Liam? Has he decided he can't take being a caregiver? I know he got a new job, but what if it's not what he wants, and he’s decided to move back to Charleston with Emmie?
"I need to talk to you," she admits.
"Sure." I smile, taking a seat on the bleachers. "What's going on? Getting nervous about the meet?"
While this may be the first meet some of these kids experience swimming for a club, it'll be her first meet ever. I don't remember my first meet ever; I was too young to retain the memory. I do, however, remember what it felt like the first time I stepped up to a block and realized I loved racing and I loved swimming. It's still in the list of my most life-changing moments. Emmie will get both experiences rolled into one.
"No." She grins, relaxing in a way that screams confident swimmer. A second later, though, her shoulders hunch back up. "Because I won't be swimming in the meet."
My brain comes to a screeching halt. I knew this was a possibility, especially given everything she has going on, but I never let myself fully consider it happening. That she could still walk away from this sport despite all the time we put into improving her swimming, despite how much she loves it, and despite her natural talent.
"May I ask why?" I question. "And why now?"
She shrugs, not meeting my gaze anymore. "I just…everything has changed in my life and this isn't what I want anymore."
Bullshit. I know it's bullshit, but I won't call her out on it. Just like I don't want any kid to feel like they have to swim for their parents’ approval, I don't want any kid to feel like they're forced to see it through to avoid disappointing me.
"I will not ask you to stay, if this is truly the decision you want to make." I'm trying to keep my voice steady when every fiber of my being wants to demand real answers.
"It is." She won't look me in the eye, but I'm feeling pretty hopeless about getting a real answer out of her.
Swallowing hard, I have no choice but to let her go. "All right then. If you change your mind, I don't know if you'll be able tocome back. We haven't discussed what it would mean if a scholarship swimmer walked away from the team."
When I look back at her, I can see she's trying to school her look of pure panic into one of indifference. She nods and mumbles, "I understand."
