Page 20 of Xander
Chapter Eight
Frost
Frost woke up and without looking at the clock, stumbled in the darkness toward the bathroom as the fullness of her bladder made itself known.She caught sight of the clock on the nightstand as she closed the door behind her and groaned at the time—three a.m.She had woken just two hours before, and two hours before that, having to pee each time.
They had to be up in a few hours to investigate the lead that Xander had found between Nightfall and the mercenaries.They were having the others over for breakfast before the sun rose so the vampires could be there.
She tried to clear her head enough to think about why she had been getting out of bed so often, and other than a stupid infection that she hoped she couldn’t get now that she was a shifter mix, but nothing suggested itself to her.All she knew was that she usually slept like the dead, but after waking up so often, she felt groggy and her mind slow.She loved sleep, even though she didn’t need as many hours as a shifter mix, but when she lay in Xander’s arms, she never wanted to leave the bed.Now, the more she thought about it, the more irritated she grew.She would ask Liv about it later when she saw her for the meeting.
She flipped on the light, not willing to take the risk of falling if she blinked too slowly or, heaven forbid, she nodded off to sleep while sitting up.She squinted as she made her way across the room, and only stubbed her toe once on the side of the cabinet and managed not to curse aloud.As she finished, she felt a bit more awake.Her mind flashed back to the moment she noticed that her skin had glowed, right before her orgasm struck and left her breathless and shaking.The first time they’d made love.Each time they had loved—and if she were honest with herself, it had been every few hours when they were awake and a couple of times during the night—every day since the first time, her skin hadn’t glowed, even though her feelings for Xander grew more intense.She thought, like the rest of her that was different than everybody else, that it was an anomaly that wasn’t anything to worry about and she brushed it off.
Grateful that she could head back to bed, she glanced up and noticed the circles under her eyes and shook her head.She wondered whether she would even wake up before the other’s arrived.She washed her hands and splashed water on her face, feeling the cool calming her, before she reached for a towel and dried her hands and face.Pulling the towel away, she blinked her eyes at the harsh light from the bathroom and caught a glimpse of her stomach.Her eyes widened, before she blinked again, and still her brain was slow to understand.
Although she hadn’t noticed it a few minutes before, there was a definite roundness to her stomach.It now hung a little past her waistline.She felt surprisingly calm when she lifted her shirt and tucked it underneath her breasts to expose her stomach completely.Her hands opened over her belly and she closed her eyes, straining to listen.Waiting several minutes, she learned the sound and the rhythm of her own heartbeat before she tried to find another that would be softer, quieter.
There.The faint beat of another heart, muffled, almost indistinguishable.
The realization woke her faster than anything else could have.She bit her lip to hold back a gasp that wanted to escape and she listened to the tiny heartbeat in her womb.She was mesmerized for several minutes as pure joy surged through her.But her joy faltered as she thought about her mate, sleeping on the other side of the door in the bedroom.
Would he be happy?
Angry?
Would it be the end of their relationship?
For the past few weeks, she’d known that she loved Xander, but during the same time, he’d never indicated that he felt the same way about her.Sure, he cared for her, treated her as though she was the most important person in his life, but he hadn’t claimed her.Each time his teeth scraped against her skin, she would hold her breath and hope that he would do exactly as she wanted, but he pulled away as if the thought stopped him cold.
She wondered how being pregnant was even possible.She knew that Liv, Ara, and Aubrey couldn’t conceive because, according to Liv, they were in a form of stasis after their transition.Although blood still pumped in their veins, it was for the purpose of keeping them alive, not to procreate.And she had gone through the transition, having the exact same aches and pains as Ara had described hers to be.But the one main difference was that Ara shifted after she came out of it; Frost hadn’t.It never really bothered her that she couldn’t, because she had the other attributes of being a shifter and had been ecstatic with her new mate to care very much.
What if I’m not his true mate?That could be a reason for him not to claim me.
He doesn’t want me, does he?
With those confusing thoughts swirling around her brain, she sat down on the floor near the tub and rubbed her belly.
Her body sagged and for a few desperate minutes, she welcomed the feeling of numbness as it washed over her, leaving her thoughts surprisingly quiet as she processed the pain.But then her practical side kicked in and realized that she would have to figure out what to do.Despite her own feelings, all that mattered now was her son.
Xander might not want her, but he would want his child, and she would never deny him access to his son.Just because he didn’t want her didn’t mean that he wouldn’t want their son.She would never accept anything less than love.Xander would try to be noble about it, force himself to do the right thing because he was old-fashioned like that, but time with their son would be different than time with her.She would accept it, no matter how much her heart might be broken.
But right now, she would have to learn all about her pregnancy and how to protect her son, and she knew the one place she could go.She knew that they would support her, but Frost wouldn’t come between his family and Xander.So, she decided that she would go to Liv for advice and then from there, she would figure it out.
Pushing herself off the floor, she walked toward the door and flipped the light off.She quietly dressed and headed downstairs.She found her coat near the door and wrapped it tightly around her body.With numb fingers, she unarmed the security system before rearming it and stepping outside into the cold January morning, locking the door behind her.
Silently, she made her way toward the copse of trees, making sure she was far enough away from Xander’s house, before she started to run full speed toward her destination.
Barely out of breath after the seven-mile run, she reached the perimeter of the property and hesitated, knowing that anyone in the house would be alerted once she tripped the alarm.Although she didn’t want a crowd around when she explained that she was pregnant, and silently thought about the fact her mate didn’t want her, she took a deep breath and walked toward the front door.
The flood lights illuminated her clearly from the driveway.She could already see Kai standing on the porch by the front door and her steps faltered.Kai ran forward and pulled her into a hug.She let the tears that she’d been holding back flow.
Kai opened his mouth, but quickly snapped his teeth closed when she knew he detected the same small heartbeat that she had minutes early.Without hesitation, he lifted her in his arms and carried her into the house.Liv was waiting inside.
Liv appeared in front of her the moment the door closed behind Kai, and she took Frost from Kai’s arms and gently set her on the couch.
“How far along, sweetie?”
Frost felt a pang of hurt, but pushed it down and smiled at Liv.Of course, Kai would communicate with Liv the moment he learned about her condition.Her smile faltered seconds later when she remembered that she wouldn’t have anything close to the love they shared.Instead of wallowing, she concentrated on the question Liv posed.
“Two weeks.When we made love for the first time, my skin glowed.It was the first and only time it had happened.I’m guessing I conceived then.”
