Page 71 of Feral Creed
I made them get me off.
I forced them to fuck each other.
Is that… did I use the bond to rape them?
“No,” says Calix firmly. “You’re our omega, okay? Don’t push things like that into the bond. Too ugly to even consider, baby girl.”
I want to be reassured.
But even as his words are reassuring, I don’t sense the same feeling through the bond with him. And the others are even more wary.
“I’m fine,” says Knight. “It was not unpleasant. None of us minded. But, uh, it was…”
“Don’t do it again,” says Arrow quietly.
“I won’t,” I say, and my voice cracks. “I swear I won’t. You guys have to understand that I didn’t mean to do it. It wasn’t a choice. It wasn’t a choice to kill Acker either. She just took me over, that other part of myself. It was my omega. She’sstrong.”
Nothing from the others.
I turn away from them, surveying the big bed here, putting my back to the kitchen area of the suite, to the living room area as well. I gaze into the bed, shaking my head.
Striker’s voice, behind me, and the bond lights up as well. “We were taken over too, and we almost killed you, Lotus.”
“But I didn’t let you guys eat,” I say.
“So, we’re all even,” he says. “Let’s not worry about it anymore.” This pushes into the bond like a command, and it sinks into me and I feel better.
“Don’t do that shit,” sneers Arrow. “That’s the same fucking shit, Striker.”
“I’m not trying to do that,” says Striker. “We all know the bond just does that. Our emotions, they travel to each other.”
“Okay,” says Arrow, and suddenly, we’re all feeling Arrow in the bond, and Arrow is certain that he wants neither Striker nor me to ever take control of him, ever again.
But it doesn’t feel the same.
“See?” says Arrow. “There’s a big fucking difference if you do it, Striker, even if you don’t mean it.”
“Because he’s lead,” says Calix, nodding.
I sit down on the bed, clutching my hands around my head, elbows pressed together in front of me. “We can’t control it,” I breathe.
And everyone’s quiet, because we feel the truth of that and no one can deny it, and Calix has all the evidence of growing up in the Polloi to know it’s the truth. The instinctive part of our designations is wild and untamed. It’s not as if we can never control it, but sometimes, it takes over and when it does, we’re just along for the ride.
The suite is stocked with food, and not just food we can cook for ourselves, but premade dishes that can be heated easily in the microwave.
We eat.
We all take turns in the two showers, because there are two bathrooms in this suite.
We put on the provided Cedar-Falls-issue pajamas, which are soft and gray and nondescript.
We don’t all sleep together.
I sleep in the big bed and Calix and Striker sleep there, too, but we sleep far apart, none of us touching.
Arrow and Knight sleep on furniture in the living area—the couch and the recliner.
When I wake up, it’s still dark outside, but I feel antsy. My pajamas are too tight and too scratchy, and I go into the bathroom and shed them and take a long, hot shower.
