Page 99 of Ghost
Joy—I was happy they were alive.
Thankful—Dani was getting her fathers back.
Jealous—They were her parents. Not me.
Furious—They abandoned her.
Anxious—Would they let me stay in her life?
Vulnerable—How would I let her go?
Powerless—It wasn’t my choice. It wasn’t my decision.
I was left at the mercy of yet another man, another biker, who had the power to tear my world apart.
I knew Dante would want me to stay in Dani’s life. But Danny was the one in charge. It was clear in my interactions with him that he ruled the home. Someone always did.
Couples liked to believe they had an equal placement in their homes. A partnership, 50/50. It wasn’t reality, though. Someone always had the upper hand. Even if they did it in a kind and compassionate, loving way.
Someone was always the leader.
Without leadership, the world broke down.
The same was true in relationships.
One of the reasons the divorce rate was so high in this country was because couples fought over who would be the leader. Whether they realized it or not.
Couples that stayed together had a clear and defined leader, even if they didn’t admit it publicly. Whether it was the husband or the wife didn’t matter. Many people believed gender roles were archaic. But sex didn’t define the role of one’s gender. To be honest, gender didn’t define the role either.
Personality did.
Some people were more nurturing. Softer, more loving in their care of others, like Dante. Providing for their family’s emotional needs or taking on the role of what was classically considered the mother in a relationship.
Whereas others were more protectors. They typically provided in a more tactical way. Working to support the family, providing for their needs in a physical way, like Danny. These individuals took on what was classically considered the father in a relationship.
While it was common for the‘father’to be the leader while the‘mother’submited to his direction, it could be the opposite. In some cases, it was the nurturer who led as the protector. The point was the same, regardless.
One person had to take control.
One individual, whether it be the father or the mother or the male or a female, the alpha male or alpha female in a same sex relationship, had to be willing to take on the consequences of their bad decisions. Not just the praise of their good decisions.
Danny was the leader.
It was clear in the way Dante deferred to him time and again. Danny was the one who would decide if I was allowed to stay in Dani’s life.
But Danny also had a big heart. He loved hard. When someone like Danny opened their heart to you, you cherished it. People who loved big, didn’t always love easy. And we often took for granted that love, not coveting it and protecting it like it should be.
I’d had less than two weeks to get to know Danny. Less than two weeks for him to get to know me. I was certain he dug into my background. Certain he knew everything about me.
Well, almost everything.
Would he have found evidence of what had happened to me? Had he found evidence of what Gunner had done? Our father got rid of the body. We never knew how. But our father was a selfish bastard. He knew he would have been in just as much trouble with the drugs he brought into our home.
But could you really learn what a person was like by the evidence of their past? Maybe he could. Something in my background convinced him he could trust me. Otherwise, why would he leave Dani in my care?
That had to mean something, right? A glimmer of hope sparked until I remembered how they had chosen me for Dani’s therapy.
Zach.
