“Street niggas always available. What you mean?”
“I’m far from what you think I am.” He raised his eyebrow at me.
“Friday night,” I told him.
“Nigga, that’s tomorrow.”
“Take it or leave,” I put my car in reverse and unlocked the door.
“Oh shit, you calling the shots ‘cause your pussy good. Aight, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“And I’ll drive. Don’t come thinking you gon’ pick me up.”
He grabbed my phone, flipped it around so my face could unlock it, and dialed his number. “Now, I can hit you up. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He leaned over and kissed my neck before getting out the car.
“I’m so sorry Khi.” I felt like I shouldn’t be fucking with another nigga. Khi always flashed across my mind when I thought about being with another man. Unfortunately, my baby daddy wasn’t on my mind that night I fucked Lucky because I was intoxicated. I knew Khi was never coming back but damn, I missed him.
I drove my ass home because I was clear for the rest of the day. I left Perc up there to handle closing. There was a note stuck to my door that caused me to be a little suspicious. I alwayshad all my packages delivered to the shop because I didn’t want anyone to know where I lived. I snatched the note down and read it. It was from my neighbor. He was a rich ass white man that had a fetish for black women. Since I moved in the neighborhood, he’s been trying his best to get at me. I told him I was married even though a man never stepped foot in my home.
I glanced over at his house and took notice of the car that was parked in his driveway. Only a few people in the city owned one and the only black woman I knew that owned it was a public defender that was fucking Khi a few years ago. I unlocked my door and went inside. Don’t get me wrong, my neighbor was handsome, but I just wasn’t into white men. I was from the streets and the only thing that could turn me own was a street nigga. Too bad I hadn’t met one like Khi yet.
We had our hiccups in our relationship but he always put our family first. He made sure his son never knew what he was doing. Their relationship met more to me than anything. I had faith that if Khi and I wouldn’t have made it, he would have still been there for his son. My son brought so much sunshine into my life. I missed him more than I missed Khi. Sometimes I wish they could’ve did more to save my baby’s life. He was still living when he made it to the hospital but didn’t make it through surgery. I smiled a lot on the outside but on the inside, two years just wasn’t enough time for me to heal.
Being home was peaceful. It was also where I dealt with most of my grief. My body was telling me to rest which is why I came home instead of working all day. I would work until I was sick. Merci would have to force me to take days off. I started being closed on Sunday’s just so I could lay around in my pajamas and read a book. When Merci wasn’t paying attention, I would do emergency appointments on Sunday, making sure not to post on my Instagram page. My sister kept my spirits high and that’s why I dealt with all her shit.
“Blessyn!” I opened my eyes to see Merci standing over me. “What the fuck you doing? I been calling you for an hour. You in here laid out in the damn tub with an empty bottle of Jack and Tylenol pm’s.
“Why you yelling?” I grabbed my head.
“I should be bitch, you could’ve drowned. Get the hell out the tub.” She let the water out and grabbed a towel, hitting me in the face with it. I knew as soon as I started crying earlier that I was going to end up doing some stupid shit.
“Can you get me some water or something.”
Merci left out of my room and came back with some water.
“I’m removing everything in this house that reminds you of them. I miss my damn nephew too sis, but I can’t lose you too. This shit you doing gotta stop. Why do you keep doing this to yourself?”
“Do you know how I feel Merci? You haven’t lost shit. My heart has been ripped from my fucking chest and the more I tried to push the shit to the back, the more I can smell Khi. I can hear my son feet running through the house. The day they were murdered I argued with my man about something so dumb. I can’t take that back.”
“You can’t bring them back either by drowning yourself in this sorrow. I know my brother-in-law and he damn sure wouldn’t want you like this. My nephew wouldn’t either. I know that they made you happy, but you got to find something to do that makes you happy. All this sad shit is ending today because I can’t call mama and tell her you’re dead. Now get in the bed and go to sleep because your breath smells like shit and the alcohol is leaking out your pores.”
“There’s one thing that I don’t want you to take.”
“What’s that?”
“KJ’s iPad. It has pictures and videos of us in it. Take everything else but please leave that for me.”
“Aight. I’ll leave that but I’m boxing everything up and taking it to mama house. I’ll be back late to check on you.”
It didn’t take me know time to drift off to sleep.
It was Friday and I was prepared to wake up with a slight hangover. I grabbed my phone and looked at my schedule for the day. My first appointment wasn’t for another two hours. For the first time since I had become a business owner, I didn’t give a damn who opened the shop today. Then my phone went off while I was organizing my clients.
678-323-1189:Good morning beautiful. Where will I be taking you on a date at tonight? A nigga gotta make sure he bring enough money.”
I threw my phone down and covered my head back up with my pillow. Right as I was about to get fifteen more minutes in, my doorbell went off. Anybody I talked to, had a key to my house. This could only be one person.
“Good morning. I stopped over to see if you got my note last night. I didn’t receive a call from you so I figured I would come and see.”
