Now I really had a fucking attitude. He didn’t give me a chance to have the conversation with my mama first now she only has his side of the story.
“Girl, stop standing there and go in the room with your sister and help her. Ain’t nothing you can do in here,” my mama brushed me off.
Merci was climbing in her bed when I walked in. She was doing better than I thought she would be doing. Maybe I was just too emotional and Merci was really the strong one.
“How are you holding up?” I asked, climbing in the bed with her.
“I’m better than I thought. Tomorrow I may feel different but right now I’m okay. Ready to get back to work.”
“I wish I had your strength.”
“You keep yourself in those self-pity parties. Girl, I can’t do that shit. My fucking vibe too lit to be crying and shit all day. As soon as my six weeks up bitch, I’m back outside.”
“What about Perc? Are you worried about him at all?”
“Yeah, as soon as I’m able to go and see him, I will. As far as me and him goes, it will never be. I don’t give a fuck if he killed that bitch or not.”
“He really loves you, though.”
“And Lucky loves you but that didn’t stop you from filing a divorce, right?”
“You’re right.”
“Aight, let me do me.”
It seemed to me like everyone had their life figured out but me. When she went to sleep, I got out the bed and went back to the living room. My intentions were to leave but my mama stopped me and wanted me to stay while she cooked us both some dinner. Lucky was gone so I didn’t have to rush off.
“Are you really going to divorce that man? He makes you so happy. You haven’t smiled so hard since Kason got killed.”
“Would you stay with a man that pulled the trigger on your only child?” I questioned.
“Do you know he takes meds for anxiety and depression? Do you know that he visits Kason once a week? That’s more than you. I just want you to see that you are not the only one suffering from the loss of my grandson. He’s suffered too. It may take the both of you to heal together.”
“Mama I’m not you. You let daddy do what he wanted and I’m not that chick. Please don’t take that the wrong way.”
“I’m no longer with him anymore. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do but I’ve felt better since I packed all his shit and put him out. I don’t know where he is or what he’s doing. It’s not my business. He never loved me. He told me he did but his actions said something else. But what I’m telling you is, Lucky made a mistake and he’s dealing with it as best as he knows how. He can barely make it without you. He worships the ground you walk on. He’s been waiting for the perfect woman and here you come into his life and now you ready to snatch it away.”
“I’m going through with it. I’m sorry that it’s against what you think but this is my life.”
“You’re right. I’ll leave it alone. Just don’t regret it.”
It wasn’t my first time being locked up but this was the longest I had stayed in here before posting bail. Since my bond was denied, I was stuck to just making phone calls until my paperwork was cleared up for visits. I walked down to the dirty ass phones and dialed Lucky’s number and waited for him to answer.
“Yo, what’s up nigga? You need anything?”
“Nah, I’m good. How is Merci?”
“She’s doing good. She’s waiting to see you.”
“Yeah, I’m waiting on they pussy ass to fix my shit but they prolonging it on purpose I think.”
“You know how they do. I put some more money on your books and shit. As soon as I’m able to see you, I’ll be there. Has the lawyer been there?”
“Yeah, but he still doesn’t have a clue who put me on the murder scene.”
“We’ll talk ‘bout it later. We know you ain’t do this shit.”
“Can you see if you can get my daughter? I don’t want her in the system and shit. If it’s too much, I understand.”
