“Where he at? I’ve never met him, and you never mentioned him.”
“He’s dead.”
My heart skipped a beat.
“Dead how?”
“Gunshot wound to the neck and torso.”
I fell back off my knees and stared at Lucky. He rubbed the rest of the oil into his hands and looked back at me to see if I was okay.
“Look, don’t be so dramatic. The shit fucked with me too and it still do.”
“Where you there?” I asked.
“Fuck you talking ‘bout bae?” He reached out to touch me. “What the hell is wrong with you? Why you tripping?”
“Kason was my son.”
My heart was racing as Blessyn rose up from the bed. I had to think this shit through because the way she was approaching me; she was ready to beat my fucking ass. I stood up and put some distance between the both of us. She was carrying my son, and I didn’t want her to hurt herself. She had every damn right to be upset with me.
“Kason was my fucking son. You killed my son and the love of my life.” The stream of tears fell from her face and dropped on her chest.
For the first time I was lost for words. The shit didn’t go down like it was supposed to that day. I wanted to explain the shit to her in a way she would understand. I would’ve never intentionally pulled the trigger on her son. It was no explaining to her because she balled her fist up and hit me dead in my facetwice. I had to eat that shit even though I wanted to yolk her ass up.
“Can I tell you my side of this, please?”
“Your side? My child is fucking dead. You don’t have a side. Did you know this shit before you married me and got me pregnant? Is this your way of apologizing by buying me nice shit and spoiling me? If it is, it will never bring them back.”
“Man, I wouldn’t do no shit like that. I didn’t know your fuckin’ ass. We fucked and fell in love with each other. I didn’t know you prior to that night.” I slowly approached her and reached out to touch her.
“No!” She backed away from me. “You don’t love nobody but yourself. You never mentioned this to me.”
“What nigga tells his wife he killed a kid? We not going to mention the fact that I asked you did you have kids, and you lied. This shit could’ve been avoided if you were honest but fuck alldat. I’m sorry but I would like to explain what happened that day.”
Blessyn slapped me in my face and walked in her closet and started snatching shit off the hangers. I took full responsibility for all the shit that was happening right now. Maybe I should’ve told her that I had murdered muthafucka’s when they crossed the line with me. I didn’t want to tell her that because that was my way of protecting her from the streets. The less she knew, the better. She seemed like the type to not even fuck with my kind in the first place.
“Where are you going? You do know we married, bruh. You don’t just leave like that. We gotta talk this shit out. You reacting and don’t know what the fuck goin’ on.”
“Don’t worry about staying married to me for long. You got me fucked up if you think I’m about to stay with you after what you did. If I wasn’t carrying all this stomach, I would beat your ass in this bitch.”
“Blessyn, can you just wait a minute and listen. You need to sit down before you go into labor or some shit.”
She didn’t stop packing. She was even grabbing the bags I hid from her with baby shit in it. The love I had for her was real and I wasn’t ready to let this shit go because of some dumb as shit that went down back in the day. The shit fucked with me up until this day and that’s why I never carried guns on me anymore. That lil’ nigga will forever be etched in my heart. I paid the bill at the hospital and sent flowers to the funeral home. I showed up at his grave and made sure that bitch was clean with fresh flowers every chance I got. He meant something to me too, and I had never met him until that dreadful day.
“Blessyn, what you want me to do? I just want to fix this.”
“I want you to die, Lucky. I want you to fucking die.”
“That’s what you want?”
“Yeah, that’s what the fuck I want.”
“Aight.” I grabbed my phone from the nightstand and hit speed dial. “Boogie come through the special door and bring me a glock.” I kept my eyes trained on Blessyn.
She continued on with her packing but paused slightly when I mentioned bringing a gun to me. I knew she loved me just as much as I loved her but if it would make her feel better to lose me then I was willing to end this shit right here to prove to her that I would never intentionally hurt her or an innocent child. A few minutes passed when a tap on the door stopped Blessyn in her tracks.
“Preciate it, Boogie.”
